What Are BLM and Forest Service Roads Like to Drive?

If ya wanna get inta vanlife boondockin', ya likely been curious 'bout what it's like to drive unpaved backroads. That and what gear ya need. Let me tell ya!

Now, Vanholio ain't no offroad drivin' expert. But he's gone down plenty a forest service roads and other unpaved roads in near three years a vanlife. So he's got a view to the situation. Plus he's made plenty a mistakes and paid in hassle and repairs. So listen up!

Vanholio's Advice on Drivin' Forest Service Roads

Look what Vanholio! did to hisself!

This below conversation (edited somewhat) is from when Vanholio got hisself stuck last fall. A fellow handled "Antigroundhogday," who's workin' toward vanlife, wanted intel on the forest service roads. Been meanin' to post it for all ya'll's education for a while.

Antigroundhogday: What recovery gear do you roll with?

Vanholio: Not enough! Digging supplies [e.g., shovel], good jack, Slime, 12v air pump, spare tire, tow strap, tools. Really need some traction pads.

[I'd add to this list several days of food and water, blankets or sleeping bag, lighter, flashlight, first aid kit, cell phone (or satellite communicator if you're waaaay back), tree strap, and Come-a-Long winch or HiLift Jack.]

Antigroundhogday: As a guy who is sitting at a desk watching you live the life, I wish I knew what the terrain looked like, that requires rescue tools that you mentioned. There are these picture as places I see vandwellers go to, but I have a hard time associating them with tools required.

Vanholio: 95% a the time, forest service roads are pretty smooth, like these two below.

2 Average FSR in Good Repair

Sometimes they're a bit more wore down, like these two. Then ya just gotta watch for the occasional rock stickin' up a bit.

2 FSR Slightly Eroded But Passable

Where I get in trouble is when I hit mud, sand, a creek crossing, or serious erosion (like these last photos) and think to myself, "Oh, I can pick my way ..." 'cause I don't want to turn back.

2 FSR Highly Eroded, Mainly Jeep Trails

Understand, I don't really got a offroad vehicle. I'm using something designed for street and pushing my luck.

[Vanholio's got a Ram Promaster City. Since this conversation, he's gotten a lift and all-terrain tires.]

Antigroundhogday: Many thanks for the photos. So these tougher roads... are they the road to these incredible places with views for miles or just you being a guy and saying "why not, let's see what's down here?"

Vanholio: Yeah, the latter mainly. Ya really don't need 4WD to get most places, including WOW places. In fact, WOW places often get the paved roads. The only thing I would really advise for any of the gravel or dirt roads is good tires. Don't go cheap on those. More clearance and 4WD or AWD gives you more slack and options [especially with snow, sand, and mud]. But it is far, far from a must.

Dig Deeper

Antigroundhogday posted ta the Cheap RV Living forum, seekin' more advice. Read the thread. It rounds out what Vanholio said and fills in the cracks. Ya might learn somethin'! I did!

---

Get mail on the road – Traveling Mailbox! (review)

---

Also See ...

• Finding FREE Public Lands for Boondocking
• Need 4WD for Van Life Backwoods Boondocking?
• An Introduction to Off-Roading (The Art of Manliness)
• Forest Service Road System (USFS)
• What Will It Take to Navigate These Roads Safely? (Cheap RV Living forum thread)

Read More »

Should You Start a Van Life YouTube, Instagram or Blog?

The short answer is "no." Actually, "Hell no!" But that's only if your main goal is makin' money. Like rock'n'roll or pro sports, few van life bloggers ever get the cabbage.

If you must do a van life blog, vlog, whatever, do it mainly for fun. Cause that's mostly all you'll likely get outta it.

?? #Vanlife question? Contact Vanholio! direct !!

Takes Skill, Time, and Sizzle to Make Van Life Blog Money

Those who do make cabbage usually have skills: photography, video editing, writing, etc. They usually also have something extra attractive about them, e.g. charm or a tight, delicious ass.

Oh, and they've also worked damn hard over a long time. There ain't no instant success on YouTube, Instagram, blogs, Twitter, Facebook, or any other social media. That includes writin' and sellin' books.

And if you mainly want attention and praise, that's scarce too. People got lotsa shit to look at online, and they don't give a crap about you. You ain't that special. Bein' ignored will become a way of life.

Here's the Hard Facts

• Why You Probably Won’t Get Rich & Famous on YouTube (MonetizePros)
• Can I Really Make a Living by Blogging? (LifeHacker)
• Instagram Stars With 50k to 200k Followers Can Make Thousands Per Post (Business Insider)

Vanholio! Is Typical Van Life Blog Case

I been doin' this blog a year and a half now. That's about 140 posts and thousands a hours work. That includes time on social media, webmasterin', readin', writin' guest blogs, throwin' together a little book, jackin' around with advertising and affiliate programs, and all kindsa other backend shit.

After all that, is Vanholio ridin' rich'n pretty? Hell no! I make maybe $20-30 a month off this blog! Woulda been smarter to work a minimum wage job.

Oh, and did I mention that Vanholio's got years experience as a pro marketing writer? (Wouldn't know it with some a the shit I post …)

But that's OK. I gots my priorities in order:

1. Have fun writin' 
2. Help and entertain readers
3. Make money

Course, writin' 'bout the UNSEXY parts a van life with sarcasm and a Texas drawl really really narrows my readership. Probably do better money-wise reviewin' smartphones or some shit. But that'd be boring as fuck.

Only Start a Van Life Blog for Love

So do your van life YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, blog, whatever if you MUST! Do it if it's comin' from your heart.

But if you're just lookin' for an easy way to make scratch, don't fuckin' bother. Unless you got skills, patience, and are ready to put in serious sweat.

Also See ...

• How to Make Money While Traveling in a Van – Part 1 (6 parts)
• #Vanlife, the Bohemian Social-Media Movement (New Yorker)
• Our New Yorker Magazine Response (Where's My Office Now)
• Meet the Pretentious Millennials Who Romanticize Living in Vans (New York Post)

Read More »

How to Escape Autonomous Killer Robots

An admirer of these manifestos emailed with an important question: "What are yer plans fer escapin' certain death by autonomous killer robots built by Google?" Here's my response ...

Reader's Original Email

Dear Vanholio,

What are yer plans fer escapin' certain death by autonomous killer robots built by Google?

As you know, the Earth has begun a new Maunder Minimum. In the coming decade, we will see progressively colder climate throughout the world. Food prices will rise so high the common folk won't be able to afford it. The Facebook and iPhones that have made them incapable of individual thought and/or critical thinking and problem solving skills leaves the common chattel unable to survive without handouts from big pharma, big credit, big welfare, and big gubament.

As the world starves and eradicates itself through violent ass-burgers SJW eruptions of Orweillian-style hate, I expect the Vanholio to be hidin' in his van, of course.... But what about those gosh damn robots? Ya got yer lasers ready? They better be charged and ready, because aint no way a Vanholio would be able to survive in the megacities - under strict carbon taxation and control - stripped of individual thought and completely animated by the corporate overlords... Amazon, Google, Walmart, DowDuPont, Goldman Sachs, and the list goes on.

?? #Vanlife question? Contact Vanholio! direct !!

Vanholio's Original Response

Vanholio last seen headin' to the hills

Hi, [name retracted],

Never had a plan, but these are my general ideas, in order. (Vanholio is a sneak, not a fighter.)

1. Leave the USA. But that might not be enough if it's a worldwide crackdown.


2. Head to the southerly hills. Abandon the van if needed. Live like a coyote foraging in nature, scavenge dumps, and theft as needed.


3. Play along, act respectable, and engage in subversion from the inside. But seein' as I can't stomach that now, this would be a desperate move.

Expanded Thoughts on Keepin' Your Freedom

Since gettin' that original letter some weeks ago, I been thinkin' and readin' on this topic.

The comin' problems ain't really about autonomous killer robots, Global Warming (or another Ice Age), or today's dominant multinational corporations – though they could be. We don't know exactly who's gonna try and pen us in or how. But you can guaran-damn-tee someone or somethin' is.

Hell, they're doin' it today! Think how unelected credit agencies, like Equifax, got ya by the nuts. Most a us have had some bullshit on our credit reports. And if ya tried, you know what a pain in the ass it is to fix it. Then think how the bastards who hacked Equifax got ya by the balls, too. If they run up bills with your identity, it's gonna suck worse.

Civilization Has Always Oppressed the Common People

Look at your history, though. Ain't states, warlords, big companies, religions, and the like always had the common man by the balls?

The big players have always been forcin' folks to fight in their wars, work themselves to death as slaves or serfs, pay taxes that don't ever quite pay back fair, and generally forget they're born free and as good as anyone.

And the Common People Have Always Resisted

But historically, people have always resisted their rulers. Either they cheat or they run. As a lazy anarchist, Vanholio proudly identifies himself with this tradition.

The common people cheat on their taxes, smuggle goods, poach, steal shit from work, grow weed in their homes, avoid the draft, and desert the army. To put it simple, they do what they need to do to survive.

And if that ain't enough to get by, they vote with their feet. Either they move to another country, or they head to the hills, mountains, swamps, marshes, desert, sea, or wherever The Man don't have power and/or don't care to look.

Sure, they sometimes fight back direct. But that's more rare as the powerful usually got things stacked to their advantage.

Remember You're Free – And Act Like It

No, Vanholio don't know exactly how THEY are gonna try and fuck with him in future. But he keeps his heart free and his eyes open. As troubles present, he's gonna do what he needs to do, whether that's run or cheat. He might even rebel directly if needs be.

And if Google sends out actual, real autonomous killer robots? Vanholio'll hide in a cave. And if I gotta, I'll shoot some down with an EMP gun!

Also See ...

• "Is Living in Your Van Illegal?"
• "How I Got REAL ID With No Fixed Address"
• "Everyday Forms Of Resistance" (by James C. Scott)
• "The Man Who Quit Money: An Interview with Daniel Suelo" (Becoming Minimalist)

Read More »