Showing posts with label Disobey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Disobey. Show all posts

Last Update: 2/23/2018

5 Unusual Stealth Camping Spots OTR

Sketchy van parked in abandoned building

Here's some crazy stealth boondock spots Vanholio's used travelin' on the road. He's always keepin' an eye out for 'em, especially when Walmart ain't nearby.

Some are legal. Most is legal or iffy. Unless overnight campin' is specifically allowed, I advise ya get in near dark and leave early, and stay alert. If it's a touristy area, maybe don't push it too much. Cops will check on their rounds.

1. Fishin' Access


Satellite photo of small Colorado reservoir
Tiny Colorado reservoir (more a pond) with fishin' access

Where there's water, people camp. That's a fact. If ya pass a body a water, however tiny, look for a spot. If ya see blue on the Google Map, swing by and check it out.

Lotsa states got legal fishin' access areas, even on small creeks and reservoir ponds. Rocky mountain states make a point of it. Those states also usually allow overnight campin' (if it's not a touristy area). They often got a vault toilet, too.

In places where it ain't exactly legal, it's usually tolerated. The local teenagers and hobos know where these spots is. Look for a dirt vehicle trail headin' inta brush. Dollars ta donuts that down by the water, you'll find a old campfire with broken glass and beer cans all around.

2. Bridges


Satellite photo of bridge with river access
Dirt road goes down under bridge and along the river

Bridges all kinds usually got someplace ya can camp overnight. And they space under and around a bridge is often a kinda no man's land. That and shelter's why hobos love 'em.

The problem with boondockin' by a bridge is traffic. Remote bridges where there ain't much night traffic is best.

In that photo above, the road down by the bridge is for fishin' access. But you'll find a way down under bridges that cross washes, canyons, gulches, train tracks, and roads, too.

3. Road Maintenance Cache Pulloffs


Satellite image of road cache pulloff
Found this almost-hidden pulloff in New Mexico's Black Range

Not sure what ta call these exactly. What I'm talkin' 'bout are little roadside pulloffs where state and county road crews keep piles a sand and salt. Also sometimes they park equipment there.

The pulloffs are all over. In the mountains, they usually got 'em just before the steep and snowline. As it's public land, it should be legal. Not sure. Only signs I ever seen were warnins not ta steal from the maintenance piles, if they got 'em.

4. Utility Substations


Satellite image of telecom substation
Parked right afront this substation one night, just like I belonged

Substations for electric, water, and telecom is all over the country. Often they're surrounded by chain link and on private land. But maybe 1 outta 3 times, ya can get in there without crossin' Farmer Brown's land.

Park behind them. Or if your rig looks like a work truck, just park it right out in the open. It'll look like utility workers just left it there overnight.

5. Vacant Buildings


Satellite image of adandoned hotel with hidden loading bay
No one'll see ya in that loading bay

Old buildings or buildings under construction are great places to boondock. Who the hell is gonna be there overnight!? Especially as zonin' separates most from residential areas.

Commercial buildings often have a loading bay, and it's usually in the back or otherwise hidden from the road. Perfect!

If there's construction vehicles and your rig looks like a work van or truck, just park by the construction equipment. Who's to say ya don't belong?




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Last Update: 2/16/2018

Are You Homeless if You Live in a Van?

Smiling man sits on cooler in front of van by the Alaska sea shore. Is he homeless or not? You can’t tell.

Per Uncle Sam, if you don’t live in a code-approved building, you’re "homeless." That shit ain't realistic for van life nomads. It’s about being broke and short on options. Here’s a tale of two vandwellers, Vanholio and Vanholio Sr., to show you why.

A Tale of Two Vandwellers


Vanholio Sr. (Pops) Was Homeless


Pops had problems. He could never hold down a job for one thing. I think he had major depression, along with some notions on life that didn’t help him none. Never could get a straight answer from family, and Pops died in my teens. Whatever his problems were, his life was a goddamn mess.

I remember a year or two that Pops lived in his old VW Bus. It was parked in the fenced lot behind his friend’s car repair shop. You know, where they keep the cars they’re gonna fix.

I’d visit him and stay in the old vanagon. Even in winter with four foot of snow. Even in sweltering, sticky summers.

He’d avoid driving the VW because he couldn’t afford gas and maintenance. Probably wasn’t insured, I bet. We’d walk or take public transport everywhere.

To get a shower, we’d walk to an old YMCA after dark, climb up the fire escape, and a buddy would let us in a window.

At the time, I didn’t think nothing of it. Didn’t realize Pops was homeless until I was an adult. He was out of money and short on options. He lived in a van as his best worst choice.

When Pops was almost dead, I asked him, “What do you dream about?” I guess I’d seen too many dumb movies and thought the dying had some spiritual wisdom. But what he said was, “All the shitty places I’ve lived.”

Vanholio Ain’t Nothing Like Homeless


Unlike Pops, I got options – shitloads of options. In America, that means cash. Hell, I’m better off than the average American, who can’t handle a $500 surprise bill!

Vanholio owns his comfy van outright and ain't got no debts. He’s got plenty of savings for a rainy day. He’s got an adequate income. He’s even got medical insurance!

Most important, thanks to cheap, effective antidepressants, therapy, and some good life lessons, Vanholio ain’t got Pops' problems. (Yes, I inherited the famil depression. Written the morbid poetry to prove it!)

Vanholio is living the good life: plenty of money, plenty of friends, a cheerful outlook, and decent health. Plus I wake up in beautiful places. Today that’s a Utah mountain forest!

I could live in gov’ment sanctioned bricks and sticks. But I don’t wanna. Vanholio has made the happy choice to live in a van, a choice uncoerced by shitty circumstances. And that’s why he ain’t homeless, whatever fucked up definition for “homeless” Uncle Sam uses.

A Better Understanding of 'Homeless'


Read a 2014 interview with Andrew Waits, photographer of “Boondock,” a collection of vehicle dweller photos. He looked at both those who didn’t embrace van life and those who did, those who consider themselves homeless and those who consider themselves lucky.

I observed that many times the deciding factor in whether an individual identifies as homeless has to do with whether or not that person has a safety net in place. This could mean money in the form of savings, a pension, health insurance, or disability. However, the impact is much greater when that safety net also includes family, friends, or a community of support.

So there you have it. In their own eyes, homeless people are those who can’t live in a place they consider safe and decent because they lack a safety net. A defining part of being “homeless” is being so broke and isolated that you’re short on good options for the necessities of life. Living in a van down by the river is almost despite the point.




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Last Update: 1/26/2018

Is Living in Your Van Illegal?

man in hoodie holds out hand, locked cuffs hanging from the wrist

Hell no,  livin' in your car, van, RV, tent, clay pot, or cardboard box ain't illegal. It's TOTALLY LEGAL. But The Man makes vanlife a hassle at times. Here's how and why.

Why Van Life Is Legal


No U.S. federal, state, or local law absolutely requires American citizens or residents to have a physical address, that is, ta own or rent real estate.

Vandwellers have all the rights and obligations as any other American.

We're required ta pay taxes and obey laws. We have the right ta vote, get federal and state benefits, own personal property, and generally pursue life, liberty, and happiness.

We can live in a van down by the river if we goddamn well please!

Why Do People Think Vandwelling Is Illegal?


For a good reason. Plenty a laws and regulations make being "homeless" – not havin' and sleepin' at a physical address – a boil on our ass. These laws make living in your vehicle illegal in effect. Assholes!

What? Am I contradicting myself?

No. We still have the absolute right ta live in our cars, vans, RVs, tents, whatever. We're just presented with certain problems that curtail our goddamn freedom. Big fuckin' time.


Problem 1 – Bureaucrats Want an Address


Try ta get a driver's license without an address. Try to get government benefits without an address. Try ta register to vote without an address. It's tricky.

Yes, you're entitled to these things without an address. In the case of voting and federal benefits, such as Social Security and SNAP, the government specifically requires the states to find ways to accommodate those without addresses, i.e., the destitute homeless. Usually states do so by lettin' the homeless use the address of a relative, shelter, or social services office.

Nomads with more means – vandwellers, OTR truckers, retired RV lifestylers, traveling salespeople – usually fudge by using the address of a friend or relative. Or we use the address of a private mailbox service, like a UPS store or a mail forwarder, e.g., Traveling Mailbox.

But of course, using a fudge address is technically illegal. There's always the risk some fuckin' bureaucrat will put your balls inta a vice over it. Not likely, they usually don't check, but it's enough to make ya nervous.

Problem 2 – Cities Don't Let You Park Overnight


OK, most of us fuckin' get that we can't park on private land without permission. But shouldn't we be able to park on public land, "the commons"? After all, we're co-owners.

That's where we get fucked over again. Plenty a cities got laws forbidding you to park overnight on particular bits a public land:

  • Can't overnight in parks
  • Can't overnight on busy streets and highways
  • Can't overnight in front of businesses
  • Can't overnight in neighborhoods
  • Can't overnight in government parking lots
  • Can't overnight by rivers and under bridges

So where the fuck are the public lands where you can park overnight? And with this fucked-up patchwork of laws, varying from town to town, how are ya supposed to know when and where you can park? You also got to worry about other laws, like no loitering.

Even when you're parked legally, the cops sometimes fuck with you anyway because ... because they can.

Yes, most national forests and many state forests permit dispersed camping, but that don't do you no goddamn good if you're in town or an urban vandweller. Not a lot of jobs in the forest!

Problem 3 – Parking Lots Are Usually Private


Most big parking lots are owned by stores or landlords. Huge mall and strip mall parking lots might feel like public space, but they're not. End a story.

Some, like Walmart and Cabela's, have vanlifer friendly policies, but that's rare. You can stealth, but you're always chancing getting chased out or worse by security or cops.

What About Our FREEDOM to Live in a Van?

Dictionary definition: "Freedom: the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint."

So while we have the right to pursue van life, we too often are legally hindered and restrained from doing so. A freedom is no goddamn use if ya can't exercise it!

From a practical, everyday perspective, while vandwelling is legal and our right, we have to break a lot of petty laws and regulations to do so. Exercising our freedom is being criminalized. And that's total goddamn bullshit!

Federal, state, and local governments are unreasonably tramping on our legal right to live in a van down by the river. But the governments' unreasonable constraints on van life won't change without a lot of lobbying and court battles. ... Who's got the time for that!? Who's got the money!?


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Last Update: 1/19/2018

What LA Federal Case Means for Vandwellers

cop writes ticket to van driver


No, it sure as hell didn't guarantee your rights to live in a van unmolested. Desertrain vs. City of Los Angeles only made the city rewrite their anti-vanlife ordinance. Now they fuck with LA vandwellers in new ways.


What Was Desertrain vs. City of Los Angeles About?


Los Angeles had an ordinance on the books since 1983 worded that it was illegal to live in your vehicle on LA city streets or city-owned parking lots.

In 2010, the city started getting a lot of complaints about folks living in their vehicles in residential and business districts who were making a mess. So the city started enforcing the ordinance.

A few cops went too far and fined folks who weren't doin' shit. Some were legally sleeping in their vans in private parking lots with permission. Some just looked homeless because they had lotsa personal belongings in the vehicle.

Homeless advocates helped a bunch a these cases come together and make a federal suit that ended up in the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals. (Read a lawyer's breakdown here.)

What Did the Ninth Circuit Court Decide?


It found the LA ordinance unconstitutionally vague. Basically, they thought the wording was too flimsy. No way cops or vandwellers could figure out what was and wasn't allowed.

Plus, the court found the LA cops were using the law as an excuse to harass anyone who looked like they lived in a van. And I'll add, looked like they was poor.

What Does the Court's Decision Mean for Vandwellers?


So we're cool now, right? No. The decision hardly meant shit for vanlife.

Cities can still make ordinances that you can't sleep in your vehicle or park too long wherever. Just like they can make you have plumping on a land and house you own outright.

That's what LA did. In 2016, they passed a new ordinance making it illegal to "live" overnight between 9 pm and 6 am in residential neighborhoods. They also made illegal to vandwell at any time "within one block, or 500 feet, of schools, pre-schools, daycare facilities, and parks." Think they got some rules about parkin' in fronta businesses, too.

Two other points:

  1. The Ninth Circuit Court's decision only applies in its district, which is basically West Coast.
  2. Redneck towns and asshole cops will still fuck with you. Might be illegal of 'em, but you got money and time to sue?

So … Is Living in Your Van Legal or Illegal?


As I wrote about in another post, living in your van is legal in principle. No law says ya gotta live in sticks'n'bricks. You're "free," so they say.

Federal land boondocking is still cool and easy. But cities? All kindsa petty ordinances and laws make everyday vanlife practices illegal in cities. It's fucked up and confusing if ya don't know the local laws. Just try dancin' around all them rules! Or if you're dealin' with asshole cops.



Get mail on the road – Traveling Mailbox! (review)

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Last Update: 12/10/2017

Louisiana Pigs Shake Me Down

Sign reads "The Butt Hut Bar-b-que" and has a pig seen from butt.
Goddammit! As a suspicious character with some kinda brain, Vanholio's No. 1 goal is to NOT look suspicious. But my best plans failed in Pollock, Louisiana. Got questioned by three LEOs for about 30 minutes!

This was as last Thursday. I was lookin' for a legal dispersed campsite in Kisatchie National Forest, near Stuart Lake. And I was drivin' legally down a legal road, mindin' my own legal goddamn business!

(BTW, that big photo is the sign for The Butt Hut in Vidalia, Louisiana. Had to stop! Decent pulled pork. Outstandin' coleslaw.)

The road was FSR 123. Not far in, I come to this puddle in the photo and wisely stopped. You know, instead of stuckin' myself. Took a photo as proof a my newfound wisdom.

puddle in middle of dirt road
Puddle where it all began!
Comin' down the other way was a game warden. He stopped and asked me a lotta questions about whether I had guns, where I was goin', etc. Then the fucker wanted to see my driver's license!

Now, when a LEO *asks* to see your license, that's a fuzzy area. You don't *have* to show your license as the LEO don't have probable cause, such as a traffic stop. If he did, he'd *demand* to see it. But then again, if you say no, it raises suspicions and may lead to trouble if the LEO is an asshole.

So I showed the game warden my license, but let him know this was goin' too far, IMHO. We parted.

A bit later, I took Ms. Barkley for a walk by the lake. When I come back to the van, who was standin' outside it but a local police officer and the game warden! (Cop No. 3 showed up a bit later.)

The dance began. Many questions were asked. Some were answered, some were not. Vanholio did his best to stand for his rights without invitin' an ass kickin'. Kinda like pettin' restrained but suspicious guard dogs.

Turns out Vanholio stepped his foot in it. FSR 123 drives straight to the back a the Pollock Federal Correctional Complex. Also turns out that dumbasses been drivin' back there to smuggled drugs into the prison.

So when Vanholio was sniffin' around there and nearby backroads in a white, unmarked van with outta state plates ... Well, locals saw the van and called me in. And you know what them and the LEOs was thinkin'.

Matters got cleared up. Didn't get the glove. But it was not a fun day ...

Wal-Mart.com USA, LLC

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Last Update: 10/10/2017

How to Escape Autonomous Killer Robots

drone carrying chain saw
An admirer of these manifestos emailed with an important question: "What are yer plans fer escapin' certain death by autonomous killer robots built by Google?" Here's my response ...

Reader's Original Email

Dear Vanholio,

What are yer plans fer escapin' certain death by autonomous killer robots built by Google?

As you know, the Earth has begun a new Maunder Minimum. In the coming decade, we will see progressively colder climate throughout the world. Food prices will rise so high the common folk won't be able to afford it. The Facebook and iPhones that have made them incapable of individual thought and/or critical thinking and problem solving skills leaves the common chattel unable to survive without handouts from big pharma, big credit, big welfare, and big gubament.

As the world starves and eradicates itself through violent ass-burgers SJW eruptions of Orweillian-style hate, I expect the Vanholio to be hidin' in his van, of course.... But what about those gosh damn robots? Ya got yer lasers ready? They better be charged and ready, because aint no way a Vanholio would be able to survive in the megacities - under strict carbon taxation and control - stripped of individual thought and completely animated by the corporate overlords... Amazon, Google, Walmart, DowDuPont, Goldman Sachs, and the list goes on.

?? #Vanlife question? Contact Vanholio! direct !!

Vanholio's Original Response

Sasquatch drawing with Vanholio's face
Vanholio last seen headin' to the hills
Hi, [name retracted],

Never had a plan, but these are my general ideas, in order. (Vanholio is a sneak, not a fighter.)

  1. Leave the USA. But that might not be enough if it's a worldwide crackdown.

  2. Head to the southerly hills. Abandon the van if needed. Live like a coyote foraging in nature, scavenge dumps, and theft as needed.

  3. Play along, act respectable, and engage in subversion from the inside. But seein' as I can't stomach that now, this would be a desperate move.

Expanded Thoughts on Keepin' Your Freedom


Since gettin' that original letter some weeks ago, I been thinkin' and readin' on this topic.

The comin' problems ain't really about autonomous killer robots, Global Warming (or another Ice Age), or today's dominant multinational corporations – though they could be. We don't know exactly who's gonna try and pen us in or how. But you can guaran-damn-tee someone or somethin' is.

Hell, they're doin' it today! Think how unelected credit agencies, like Equifax, got ya by the nuts. Most a us have had some bullshit on our credit reports. And if ya tried, you know what a pain in the ass it is to fix it. Then think how the bastards who hacked Equifax got ya by the balls, too. If they run up bills with your identity, it's gonna suck worse.

Civilization Has Always Oppressed the Common People


Look at your history, though. Ain't states, warlords, big companies, religions, and the like always had the common man by the balls?

The big players have always been forcin' folks to fight in their wars, work themselves to death as slaves or serfs, pay taxes that don't ever quite pay back fair, and generally forget they're born free and as good as anyone.

And the Common People Have Always Resisted

Cover of The Art of Not Being Governed by James C. Scott

But historically, people have always resisted their rulers. Either they cheat or they run. As a lazy anarchist, Vanholio proudly identifies himself with this tradition.

The common people cheat on their taxes, smuggle goods, poach, steal shit from work, grow weed in their homes, avoid the draft, and desert the army. To put it simple, they do what they need to do to survive.

And if that ain't enough to get by, they vote with their feet. Either they move to another country, or they head to the hills, mountains, swamps, marshes, desert, sea, or wherever The Man don't have power and/or don't care to look.

Sure, they sometimes fight back direct. But that's more rare as the powerful usually got things stacked to their advantage.

Remember You're Free – And Act Like It


Gandhi quote on slaves thinking they're free No, Vanholio don't know exactly how THEY are gonna try and fuck with him in future. But he keeps his heart free and his eyes open. As troubles present, he's gonna do what he needs to do, whether that's run or cheat. He might even rebel directly if needs be.

And if Google sends out actual, real autonomous killer robots? Vanholio'll hide in a cave. And if I gotta, I'll shoot some down with an EMP gun!





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Last Update: 2/03/2017

Stealth – Van Life Tricks to Avoid Hassles

van life stealth: Van hidden in plain view by trees with use of camouflage netting. Vanholio!
Damn near every wannabe vanwdeller is worried about stealth, stayin' hidden from LEOs and busybodies. Well, avoidin' notice is a van life essential. But not how ya think!

Stealth Is Overrated

You wanna hide 'cause ya feel guilty for breakin' a social taboo. It's like you're a little kid again, worried that you're gonna get in trouble. Truth is, most people don't give a shit that you're living in a van down by the river. They got their own damn worries. Most don't even notice you or your rig, even when they nearly trip over ya.

Stealth Is Avoidin' Notice


On the other hand, it is wise to avoid notice. No notice, no trouble. That's a fact! Pay attention: Vanholio didn't say stayin' hidden. He said avoidin' notice. That can mean flat out bein' hidden or in disguise, but not necessarily. Usually, it just means actin' normal.

3 Van Life Stealth Strategies


Stealth of Actin' Normal


This is the most important stealth strategy. Did you ever hear the old joke 'bout how you can go fuckin' anywhere in a government buildin', so long as you're carryin' a clipboard? That's what Vanholio's talkin' about!

See, most people see what they expect to see. So be what they expect to see!

Got a careworn soccermom minivan? Overnight in hospital, apartment, and store parkin' lots. Ya know, where minivans live. Or if you wanna sleep in a neighborhood, pick a one where lots a them kinda vans could be parked. Don't park in a rich neighborhood where everyone's got Mercedes, and them in a garage. See?

That's just an example. If ya got a cargo van, maybe you park it by worksites, power relays, and industrial areas instead. That's where people expect to see cargo vans. If you see other work vehicles or construction machinery, park right next to 'em, like you're part of the crew. (But get out early mornin' before the real crew shows up.)

And as for yourself, get a fuckin' haircut, Hippie! Look cleaned up and respectable yourself. Keep your clothes and belongins packed up and tidy, if anyone can see into your vehicle. If you look normal and respectable, you'll be treated normal and respectable. But if you insist on some kinda counterculture look, accept that you'll attract attention, some unwanted.

Stealth of Cover


Especially when campin' alone, Vanholio opts for not bein' seen. He don't wanna be a target for anyone, 'specially robbers. So when selectin' a camp, he often looks for natural or manmade obstructions to view. This can be trees, hills, buildins, whatever.

But – and here's a big but – he also don't try to look like he's hidin'. Pick a spot where any Tom, Dick, or Harry would naturally park, but that also has a bit a cover.

Stealth of Disguise


This here is the one van life wannabes focus on. They see folk who get cargo vans and make them look like work vans. Or they'll make them look like delivery vehicles or whatever. They'lll try to make them look like anythin' but a camper.

Question: How do you suppose all those folks livin' in RVs, cars, minivans, and the rest get away with it? As I said up top, stealth is overrated. Sure, you can make a disguise stealth van or whatever, but you really don't need to. (But curtains or blackout windows is always a good idea.)

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See …

5 Hard-Won Lessons of Urban Van Life
50 Stealth Camping Super Tips (Bicycle Touring Pro)


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Last Update: 10/25/2016

5 Hard-Won Lessons of Urban Van Life

Van covered with graffiti wall for urban van life, not necessarily down by the river. Vanholio.com
"Graffiti van 2" by Sarah Joy (CC BY-SA 2.0)

Vanholio's real impressed with Simon Gooder's GoHobo post, "5 Things I Learned About Van Life (While Living in a Van)."

Vanholio don't urban stealth camp much, so he ain't got much to say on the matter. But I know that's what some of you do or wanna do.

Simon's experience has the ring of hard-won truth to it, so listen up! As he says:

Living in a van is not always awesome. But neither is living in a house. Actually, most of the time living in a van is awesome.

GoHobo.co is an outstanding site, filled with good info about all flavors of Alt travel. Check it out!

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

Adventure Directory (Go Hobo)
/r/vandwellers (Reddit.com)
10 Ways to Shower if You Live in a Van
Read More »

Last Update: 10/08/2016

Trim Pot Harvest to Keep Van Life Rolling

Vanholio cuts bud with scissors in a van down by the river
At $200-500 a day CASH, bringing in the weed is perfect work for the OTR van lifer — if you can get it. And if you can avoid getting fucked over.

Revelation!


You 420 types probably know all about this already. But the scales fell from Vanholio's eyes. And now I'm spreading the good word.

Few days ago, I was in Humbolt County, Calif., capital of U.S. marijuana cultivation. Despite cold, wet weather, the national forest campground was packed with hippie kids and others. Their camps looked more settled in than normal. Though that was odd.

Then when I was walking the dogs, the new hippie kids in camp asked, "Have you found any cutting jobs yet?" That opened up an interesting conversation, I tell you what.

Following is what I've learned since. But do your own research. What Vanholio don't know could fill a swimming pool.

Getting Hired


The Pacific Northwest marijuana harvest season runs from late September through mid-November. Hippie kids show up in towns all over Potland, camping out, shitting in the woods, wandering downtown with "hire me" signs. Supposedly, the cultivators come into town looking for workers, usually around the bars.

But I also heard it ain't that easy. Growers usually hire people they know, often locals or returning workers. Makes sense. They don't have time to fuck with some red-eyed trustifarian kid. They need dependable, hardworking people who'll bust ass to get a quality product in. No drama. Oh, and no narcs.

So the trick is getting known and trusted. How do you get that first job? Ain't that always the problem? But it's worth a shot.

Be cleaned up and sober, be friendly, and tell people you want trimming work. Do any other temp jobs you can find around town, even if they aren't paid, and work hard at them. People know people, and word gets around. That's the best advice I got!

What It's Like


From what all I can tell, trimming bud is shitwork. You'll work scissors for 14 hours a day or more, day after day. There'll be chit-chat and music to keep from going insane. One hopes. You'll likely be out at some "farm," maybe a shack in the woods somewhere. You'll try not to think about any "squeal like a pig" scenes.

Your boss could be paranoid about LEOs and the competition. They'll definitely be under a fuck-ton of pressure. Tends to bring out the asshole in people. Their shit will roll downhill, guaranteed.

But that said, the pay is fucking awesome. Been told about $200 a pound. A good trimmer can earn $300-500 a day. I've also heard it works out to about $15-20 an hour. And it's all cash, probably not reported to Uncle Sam. Not bad. Those who work the season sometimes earn around $10,000. That's near enough to carry you a year, if you live simple.

Legal? Maybe


Cultivating marijuana – and helping out – is an illegal felony under federal law.  But Obama's said he won't screw with the little people, especially in pot-legal states. Hillary or Trump might.

In California, the only legal cultivation is for medical marijuana. Only a handful of producers are licensed, and they can only do 12 plants. Most of your Humbolt County growers are illegal. But it's also the biggest business in the county, so the LEOs have a huge incentive to look the other way. On the other hand, I could see legal and/or established producers calling in local, state, or federal law dogs on upstarts. King of the Hill ain't just a kids game! People are shits.


UPDATE: Seems California has just expanded who can legally grow and how much under state law. Keep up with the latest at the California NORML website.


Oregon and Washington have licensed growers of both medical and recreational pot. But some cities have opted out, so be aware. And while pot prices are dropping, they're still high enough that I bet plenty of illegal farms operate back in the woods.

Bottom line is you're probably OK. But be wary and be informed. It's a developing situation. And it's always the little guy that gets fucked over, whether by the gov'ment or the bosses.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

With Harvest Season, 'Trimmigrants' Flock To California's Pot Capital (NPR)
Work in California Clipping Marijuana (Road Junky)
Carving Wooden Dildos for Fun and Profit

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Last Update: 9/23/2016

Living #Vanlife Facebook Free!? WTF!?

Fuck Facebook. I'm going cold turkey living in a van down by the river. Vanholio.com
I can hear Matt Foley now: "Well, you're gonna be doing a lotta Facebook when you're living in a van down by the river!" Damn fucking straight, Matt! So how can I get back on the right track?

That's the question Vanholio's been asking hisself. He didn't take up vanlife to spend all goddamn day "meeming" on Facebook, by golly. It's a goddamn hall of mirrors. Yet I been doing waaaay too much a that shit. It's like fucking crack cocaine!

So here's what I done: I installed a URL-blocking extension in my Chrome, Block site. Then I added all the Facebook URLs to its prefs, plus all my other big time-waster sites (mostly news and titties).

Sure, I can undo all that at any time, but it'll make me stop and think. In fact, I may – might! – unplug Block site for, hell I don't know, an hour or so twice a week to keep up with folks. Can a crackhead moderate...?

Lookin' forward to getting back all that piss-gone time to:

  • Write
  • Hike
  • Look at shit
  • Drive around
  • Read actual books
  • Talk to people in person
  • Whittle
  • Forage
  • Fish and hunt
  • Take up with disreputable women ...

           ... ya know, all the stuff I became a vandweller to have more time to do.

But then, if you been around the block, you know better than to listen to a crackhead who swears he's gone straight.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

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PS: This post has been automatically reposted to Facebook by IFTTT.com. So there. :-P


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Last Update: 8/29/2016

How I Got REAL ID With No Fixed Address

Getting a REAL ID with no fixed address ain’t impossible … if you got a card or two up your sleeve. Photo by Stephen Deplo, CC by 2.0
REAL ID proofs of residency fuck with nomads who don’t have no address living in a van down by the river. How’s an otherwise law-abiding van lifer to supposed to get a driver’s license, registration, license plates, and Obamacare? Cheat a little, that’s how – like the big dick corporations. Let me tell how Vanholio done his in New Mexico.

Two Quick Disclaimers First

Just Vanholio’s Experience


This article ain’t the end all, be all of how to choose a state of residency and get a driver’s license, etc. This is just Vanholio’s experience and thinkin’ on the matter. Bob Wells at CheapRVLiving.com has got the whole how-to for ya, soup to nuts. (See links to his articles and videos at bottom.)

'Technically' Ain't Got REAL ID – Yet


Got my license in New Mexico, and it turns out the state's on extension to being fully REAL ID compliant. Mostly they’re working out how to handle illegal aliens and other non-citizen residents. But I did jump through all the same REAL ID proof of residency and citizenship hoops to get my license, registration, and tags. My license just don’t got the star on it. What I did should work for you in any state.


Establishing New Mexico Residency


All the Docs I Needed


As New Mexico interprets REAL ID, here’s what they require for proof citizenship and New Mexico residency:

  • Passport or birth certificate
  • W-2, pay stub, or Social Security card with your Social Security Number
  • Two different documents proving your address (see full list)

For my license, registration, plates, and title change, I also needed:


How I Produced the Proofs


As a US citizen and a decent record keeper, I have a passport, birth certificate, Social Security card, and my Texas van title. So that was covered. The tricky bit for nomads is getting the proofs of residency without a fixed address.

I decided the easiest of the required residency documents for me was a bank statement and auto insurance, especially since I needed the latter anyway. Here’s what I did.

  1. Picked out a New Mexico residential address. (If you’ve got a friend or family member in your chosen state who will let you use their address, that’s the easiest and best way of all.)

  2. Submitted a USPS request to forward my mail from the residential address to my private mailbox / mail forwarding service, Traveling Mailbox.

  3. Got auto insurance for the residential address online and printed out the proof.

  4. Changed my bank account address to the residence and printed out the next statement with New Mexico address. (I changed the address back later.)

  5. Took the auto insurance and bank statement printouts, plus my other docs, to the MVD office and did the paperwork, paid the fees, and got my title, registration, plates, and temporary license.

  6. About a month later, my permanent New Mexico driver’s license showed up in my Traveling Mailbox.

It’s some damn hoops to jump through, but it’s totally goddamn doable.

But Ain’t That Illegal?


Yes, but it ain’t immoral, IMHO. Being a nomadic vandweller ain’t illegal or wrong as such. The bureau-nazis and LEOs just have their systems set up in such a way as to criminalize not having a fixed address, a “domicile.” They wanna keep tabs on you. So I adapted to exercise my legal and moral right to live in a van down by the river. I look at it this way.

  • REAL ID is a national standard to keep foreign terrorists from getting an ID that gets them on planes and into secure facilities. I’m a US citizen and not a terrorist.

  • I’m as much a New Mexico resident as those fat cats incorporated in Delaware are Delawareans. Besides, I’ll be paying New Mexico taxes same as anyone and probably spending a good amount of time there, too.

  • The Boy Scout way would be to challenge the current residency laws and regulations in court to win a non-address alternative to get licenses, Obamacare, and the rest. Work within the system, they say. Fuck that. I ain’t got the time, money, or belly fire for that shit.

Why I ‘Moved’ to New Mexico


New Mexico is an unusual choice of residency for a nomad. Most folks either stick to their home states or go with Nevada, Florida, Texas, or South Dakota. Here’s Vanholio’s considerations ...

New Mexico Has Expanded Medicaid


This here tale is mostly about Obamacare. As a self-employed, pre-retirement fellow, Vanholio gets his medical insurance through Obamacare. The problem is that for everything but emergencies, most policies (including mine) only cover you in your home state.

As an OTR vandweller, that sucks donkey balls, particularly since Vanholio is a Texas boy. The Lone Star State is huge, out of the way, and blazing hot most of the year. Not only that, Texas bowed out of Expanded Medicaid. Since I live on a tiny budget, that leaves me paying almost $3,000 a year for high-deductible, basic insurance.

So I looked at the map. Being that I mostly wander around Texas and the Four Corners states, New Mexico is about the center of my range. Good place to have my doctors. Plus, New Mexico has Expanded Medicaid, so that’ll be $3,000 a year raise for me.

New Mexico Taxes and Insurance Cheaper Overall


Now, unlike Texas, New Mexico has state income tax. That ain’t none too fucking attractive. But I crunched the numbers at SmartAsset, and as little as I earn, New Mexico’s income tax burden is peanuts on me.

Plus I done made it up in other ways. My van registration is about half in New Mexico as in Texas. Plus I ain’t gotta pay for yearly exhaust inspections. And by comparing average car insurance rates by ZIP code, I cut my rates in half! I come out ahead on this thing all around.

Cover of "All the Whores I Knowed Before" a book by Vanholio! For sale on Amazon.com. Click through.

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