Lady Luck Favored Vanholio! This Week!

Can’t believe my good fortune last Tuesday! Nothin’ like this ever happened to ol’ Vanholio before. It was if Loki hisself kissed my unworthy ass!

This is a tale of shipments misdirected and redeemed. An all too frequent hassle in van life.

?? #Vanlife question? Contact Vanholio! direct !!

Vanholio’s been tryin’ out Soylent again. Generally, they deliver via FedEx Ground, which presents some challenges to a nomadic vandweller. What I tried to do was have it sent to me ℅ the FedEx Ship Center in Las Cruces, N.M., where I had some biz this week.

About 1 p.m. Tuesday afternoon, FedEx showed the package as out for delivery on a truck from Santa Teresa, N.M., a suburb of El Paso, Texas. But I stopped by the FedEx Ship Center in Las Cruces anyway, hopin’ it was bangin’ around the warehouse somewhere, waitin’ to get signed in.

It wasn’t. Worse, turns out that the Ship Centers won’t accept a FedEx Ground package at all ‘cause they don’t have a way for recipients to sign for delivery. Shit. Woman there said I’d probably have to pick it up in Santa Teresa next day. Goddamit!

First off, I wanted to get the hell out of hellish hot Las Cruces and up to the cool mountains. Second, I didn’t wanna drive down to Santa Teresa next day. It ain’t far, but stayin’ overnight, then drivin’ there and back’d be just a waste a my fuckin’ time. Which Vanholio got lots of, true, but he still cares how he spends it.

I left the FedEx Ship Center and pulled into the TA Travel Stop around the corner to gas up, pee, and get a drink. Whole time, I was consternatin’ on where to spend the night, whether to just leave the Soylent an’ let it go back to the company, etc., etc.

But as I were pullin’ outta the TA Travel Stop, I saw a FedEx Ground delivery truck headin’ down Motel Blvd. "Vanholio," I says to myself, "Whattya wanna bet this truck came from the Ship Center or is headin’ there in a bit? Whattya wanna bet it’s got your Soylent on board?"

So I followed that delivery truck up to some government buildin’, where it pulled up to the dock. Parked and walked up to the dock, waitin’ outside till the driver come back out.

"Say," I said, "This is gonna sound weird, but see, I don’t suppose you have my package …" And I quickly told him the whole sorted tale.

And wouldn’t ya know it, he knew just the package! Handed it to me, and I signed for it right there! Then got the hell outta Dodge up to them mountains ASAP! Damn! Even a blind hog gets an acorn once in awhile!

Now, what’s all this got ta do with the MegaMillions ticket in the photo? Well, I felt so lucky after gettin’ my package that I bought a lottery ticket. And guess what? Vanholio didn’t win shit. ‘Cause there ain’t really no such thing as luck.

Also See ...

• "3 Deliveries Fucked in One Shitty Day"
• "Traveling Mailbox Saves Vandweller $$$$"
• "Pick Up Mail and Packages on the Road"
• "Getting Packages on the Road" (Live Small Ride Free)

Read More »

3 Deliveries Fucked in One Shitty Day

Van life ain’t roses all the time. Here’s a timeline of how three deliveries got fucked in one shitty Friday. Even though Vanholio did everything mostly right.

8:30 a.m. – Rerouting UPS Delivery

Vanholio’d ordered from Amazon.com for delivery to Silver City post office General Delivery. That was a gamble as the item was small. The post office don't normally accept UPS deliveries. But yes, it was coming UPS instead of USPS after all. Gotta hold of UPS customer service and request to pick up at the Silver City UPS Customer Center. Change approved. Good so far.

10:30 a.m. – Drive Into Silver City

Camp is about 40 minutes away. But it's a beautiful day, and everything's going my way ...

11:30 a.m. – Pickup Mail Bundle

Stop by the Silver City post office to pick up my forwarded mail bundle. It was sent by my Traveling Mailbox to General Delivery. Packet in and in my hand. Things are still going good. But not for long!

12:00 p.m. – Prescription Madness, Part 1

Doing laundry, I log onto Walmart.com to order two prescription refills, to be picked up at the Silver City Walmart. Prescription A can’t be done online because it requires a transfer. OK. Try to order Prescription B. Just as I’m clicking submit, the site changes my store to a Walmart in Texas I used recently. Fuckit.

I call the Walmart pharmacy customer service, asking, “B went to a Walmart in Texas, and A prescription is stuck a different Texas Walmart. How can I get them transferred?” Agent says, “Call both Texas Walmarts and ask them to hold the prescription. Then call the Silver City Walmart and ask them to transfer in both for refill.”

Vanholio makes his three fucking extra calls to Walmarts all over the goddamned place. Silver City assures me it’s OK, says come by in an hour to pick ‘em up. Fine.

2:00 p.m. – Mail Advice Written, Posted

Laundry done, I head to the Walmart parking lot to hang out for a bit, writing and posting “Pick Up Mail and Packages on the Road.” It tells you how things are supposed to work. Excellent advice, ‘cept it ain’t working for shit today. Can we say "irony"?

3:30 p.m. – Prescription Madness, Part 2

Head into Walmart pharmacy to pick up prescriptions. Clerk says there’s a problem, sends me to Drop Off counter. “Sir,” says Clerk 2, “Prescription A has no refills.” Vanholio says, “Yes, it does. I’ll get the bottle.”

Go out to car and bring back bottles for both prescriptions, A and B, just in case. Clerk 2 finally figures it out. Apparently, despite giving them the prescription numbers, whoever I talked to earlier tried to fill a different A prescription off a second Vanholio profile in the Walmart system. Why does Vanholio have two profiles? Why does he have two prescriptions for the same med? Fuck if anyone knows.

Clerk 2, “OK, it’s all sorted out and we have A and B in stock. Be ready in 15-20 minutes.” Good. Maybe shit is finally settled.

3:45 p.m. – In-Store Pickup Clusterfuck

Walk over to the store pickup counter. I’d ordered three items a week ago off Walmart.com for free in-store pickup. No one is at the counter. Several clerks ask me if I’ve been helped, but none of them can work the counter.

After 20 minutes of waiting and paging assistance, Trainee Manager finally shows up. "Sorry, Sir. They sent people home. Walmart!"

Only one of my three items is in. Was told earlier in the week that the other two items would be in, but they’re not. Maybe next week? No one knows.

4:10 p.m. – Prescription Madness, Part 3

Head back to the pharmacy. Prescriptions are ready, Clerk says. But at checkout, the price is way too low. What’s up? Clerk says, “Oh, Prescription B is only a four-day supply because we don’t have it all in. We’ll get you the rest by next week.” Fuck. Now I have to come back. It’s a 40 minute drive from camp. At least I’m not leaving the area for another week.

4:30 p.m. – UPS Customer Center Missing Package

Get to UPS Customer Center. Clerk Dude can’t find package anywhere. Go to van and get tracking number. He looks up on computer. “Oh, this was delivered to the post office.” Vanholio says, “What!? I got it routed here because the post office won’t accept a UPS delivery.” Clerk Dude says, “They did. Sometimes they accept our deliveries because blah, blah, blah ...”

4:40 p.m. – Post Office Can’t Find Package

Tell Post Office Clerk, “I have a package General Delivery.” She goes back. Digs around. Get’s another clerk chick to dig around. Comes back empty handed.

“It was signed for this morning. From UPS,” I say. “Oh,” she says, “Sometimes we get drop shipments from UPS. But they aren’t unpacked till the next morning.” So Vanholio’s Amazon.com package is buried in a pallette of UPS shit. “Come back tomorrow or Monday.”

Why the fuck did I even get out of bed Friday? Huh!? Stay down by the river, always. That’s Vanholio's new van life motto.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

How Do I Find Lost Mail? (Reference.com)
Traveling Mailbox Saves Vandweller $$$$
Pick Up Mail and Packages on the Road

Read More »

Pick Up Mail and Packages on the Road

Your van life is on the move – you’ve gone OTR. So where you gonna collect your mail and package shipments when just passing through an area? Vanholio’s got solutions!

Easy Situation — You Know the Carrier

Whether you’re ordering online, getting a bundle of mail forwarded by your private mailbox company, or Momma’s sending you her “special brownies,” you might well know ahead of time what carrier’s being used to ship.

USPS (United States Postal Service)

Get the envelope or package shipped to General Delivery at a town you’re passing through:

Your Name
General Delivery
Post Office Street Address
City, State, XXXXX-9999

Always use that 9999 as the +4 for your General Delivery post office ZIP.

You can also have your USPS mail automatically forwarded from your normal address to another address, including General Delivery at any post office. This works better when you’re gonna be in one location for a while. It’s a pain in the ass when you’re moving around a lot, honestly.

Canada Post does things basically the same way as USPS. Check their website for specifics.

UPS (United Parcel Service)

Have the shipment sent to a convenient UPS Customer Center or a The UPS Store location. The Customer Centers are the shipping depots, and they have limited locations and hours open to drop by. The UPS Stores have more locations and better hours, but they usually charge you $5 per envelope and $10 per package received (unless you have a mailbox there).

FedEx (Federal Express)

Like UPS, you get your package sent to a FedEx Distribution Center or to a FedEx Office location (used to be Kinko’s). Again like UPS, the distribution centers are more scarce and with scarce customer hours, but FedEx Office storefronts are more convenient. But unlike The UPS Store, FedEx Office won’t charge you for receiving your package.

Amazon.com

While not a carrier per se, Amazon.com now has the Amazon Locker service, where you can pick up and drop off Amazon purchases any time at their location. I haven’t used one, but looking the site, it looks like they leave your package in something like a bus locker.

Walmart, Other Retailers

Some retailers will let you pick up online orders at their retail locations. Vanholio orders stuff from Walmart.com, the picks it up from a store I'm passing by – all the fucking time. No shipping fee, neither.

Trickier Situation – You Don’t Know the Carrier

Sometimes you don’t know how an envelope or package is being sent until after the fact. Amazon.com, for example, usually uses UPS or USPS, but you can’t choose when you order. And sometimes they throw a curveball and do FedEx or even DHL. What then? Good news is usually you get a tracking number and carrier name. If they don’t tell you, ask! Not a whole fucking lot you can do otherwise.

Well, that’s not entirely true. In the case of FedEx and UPS, they’ll hold the package at their depot for a bit after a failed delivery attempt. You might be able to intercept it there before it gets returned to sender. USPS doesn’t hold shit – it goes right the fuck back.

USPS (United States Postal Service)

You can redirect most USPS mail or package that has a tracking number and hasn’t yet been sent out for delivery from the destination’s post office. But the fucker’s will change you $12.55! This magic service is called “Package Intercept.”

UPS (United Parcel Service)

Using UPS My Choice and the tracking number, you can change the package delivery address to a home address, UPS Customer Center, or a The UPS Store location.

Note that if the original delivery address was a commercial address (e.g., USPS General Delivery or your mailbox service), you can’t do that yourself online. But you can contact their customer service and they’ll do it manually. No biggie.

FedEx (Federal Express)

These fuckers are a bit different. FedEx normally only allows the sender to change the delivery address, so you’ll have to call the sender and get them to do it for you.

There is an exception: FedEx Redirect to Hold. This is an added-cost service option for the sender. If they’ve paid for it, the receiver can request to pick up the package at a FedEx Distribution Center or FedEx Office location.

Worry-Free Situation – Private Mailbox Services

If you’ve gotten your mail and packages sent to your private mailbox service, such as Traveling Mailbox (which I reviewed last week), they’ll usually forward them to you just about anywhere. You pick the destination and carrier.

Vanholio’s also been told that multi-location storefront mailbox services, like The UPS Store and Mailboxes Etc., can forward your shit to another one of their storefront locations, too. Not sure what the charge is, but likely reasonable.

International Situations? – Fuck if I Know

I barely touched on Canada Post doing General Delivery. That’s all I know. Vanholio sure don’t know shit about Mexico or anywhere else outside the USA.

If you, Dear Reader, would send Vanholio the info to vanholio69 AT gmail DOT com, I’ll do a followup post and give you credit. Inquiring van lifers want to know!!!

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See ...

Traveling Mailbox

Traveling Mailbox Saves Vandweller $$$

How I Got Real ID With No Fixed Address

Read More »

Traveling Mailbox Saves Vandweller $$$$

Last week, Traveling Mailbox – a private mailbox and mail scanner service – saved Vanholio $170 by going above and beyond in customer service.

Their support guys sent me an email double checking that I really, really wanted to ship my package 2nd Day for mega-dollars. They held it up until I got back with them. And no, I sure as hell didn't want to pay $170 in shipping.

$170 Shipping? The Fuck?

Traveling Mailbox will accept packages on your behalf, besides just letters. They'll reship to you anywhere.

Now, normally I avoid doing this because paying to ship a package twice – once to them and once to me – is a waste of fucking money.

But I found myself recently in a trifecta of considerations:

1. My purchase was back-ordered.
2. The merchant couldn't say which carrier they'd ship by. (They switch up based on daily shipping prices.)
3. My travel plans were in flux, so I couldn't predict a good receiving address on the road.

Sometimes you just gotta take it up the ass. Settled on the double shipping.

The package got into Traveling Mailbox last week. I knew I was going to be in Prescott last weekend. So I requested that 2nd Day forward to The UPS Store in Prescott. But damn, I didn't know it'd be $170 fucking dollars!

Kudos to Traveling Mailbox for the heads up. I have now redone my forwarding request for UPS ground shipping. Much more reasonable at $35!

Trustworthy With Big Checks, Too

Traveling Mailbox also done right by me with their check deposit service. If you get a check in the mail, they'll deposit it straight to your bank. Saves time over forwarding.

Last year, I got HUGE check in from a van I sold through a dealer on consignment. Gotta say: I was a bit worried having elves somewhere handle that one for me.

They deposited the check like they said. The money got into my account lickety-split. I've since trusted them with a few other checks. No issues.

Traveling Mailbox Perfect for Van Lifers

For $15 a month, you get a street address and mail scanning service. They'll scan your mail into PDFs so you can read them online. For small extra fees, they'll forward your mail and packages, and deposit your checks, plus other ad hoc services.

Vanholio ain't Consumer fucking Reports. I can't can't say Traveling Mailbox is the best in the business or anything.

I like their services, online tools, and quick support team; their prices are competitive; and they've always kept me happy. Check 'em out.

Also See ...

• How It Works (Traveling Mailbox)
• BBB Business Review: Traveling Mailbox, LLC (Better Business Bureau)
• Complaint Review: Traveling Mailbox LLC (Ripoff Report)

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Disclaimer: Yes, if you click thru to Traveling Mailbox and sign up, I'll get a little affiliate commission. But everything I wrote above happened just like I said. I've been using the service more than a year and am happy with the company.

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