Eat Your Weedies, Boys and Girls!

I ain’t talking about munchin’ on your ganja, Mon (though you could). I’m talking about foraging and eating wild greens instead of expensive grocery store veggies. It’s the perfect thing for when you’re living in a van down by the river.

Why Wild Greens Are the Answer

Thing about van life is, vegetables can be a challenge. Money is tight. Storage space is tight. Prep is a pain in the ass. Cleanup is a pain in the ass. Plus most store-bought vegetables suck.

But ya’ll know eating your greens is good for you: vitamins, fiber, antioxidants, and phyto-what-the-fucks. Even if they taste like crap.

So what Vanholio does a lot of times is scrounge around for wild greens near my van camp. Shit, dandelions and clover are fuckin’ everywhere! And you don’t even need to eat much neither, ‘cause wild greens are packed with what your body needs.

Why just yesterday, I stuffed a big mug full of clover greens and blossoms. I tried to munch ‘em like a salad, but they were kind of tough and peppery. So I just wilted them down in my world famous peanut butter ramen, and I didn’t hardly notice them as I ate.

How to Find Edible Wild Greens – and Not Get Poisoned

There’s lots of edible wild greens you’ll recognize all over. At bottom are links and a video how-to.

But lots of plants is edible, even if they don’t go down easy. And your taster is a natural poison detector. Nibble just a tiny bit. General rule is: If it’s real, real bitter, or it burns or numbs your tongue and/or lips, don’t eat more. That’s your body saying it’s bad for you.

Here’s some other things to avoid if you don’t know the plant:

• Milky or discolored sap
• Spines, fine hairs, or thorns
• Beans, bulbs, or seeds inside pods
• Bitter or soapy taste
• Dill, carrot, parsnip, or parsley-like foliage
• “Almond” scent in the woody parts and leaves
• Grain heads with pink, purplish, or black spurs
• Three-leaved growth pattern

Now, some things you can eat do have the qualities above, but those are still helpful when you ain’t quite certain.

Final notion: Don’t pick greens right next to busy roads or where a lotta dogs been shittin’.

What About in Winter, Cities, and Deserts?

You can usually find edible wild greens just about everywhere, even in winter, even in parks, even in the dryest desert. But if you plain can’t, or it’s just too much trouble, here’s another idea for ya. Why not just eat dry herbs and teas? Ain’t tea a leafy green? Ain’t basil, thyme, parsley, and so on just greens? (Yeah, and your ganja, too.) You can find nutritional info on somma that shit online, and it's impressive!

When I don’t feel like foraging around, or buying and prepping store vegetables, I just grind up herbal or regular teas real fine and brew ‘em up. I’ll take in the fiber as I drink it. I do the same thing sometimes with seasoning herbs, just mixing them around in V8 and chugging.

Living in a van down by the river ain’t no excuse not to eat healthy. Even if you’re poor ass broke.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See …

Eat the Weeds and Other Things Too (eatttheweeds.com)
62 Edible Wild Plants That You Didn't Know You Can Eat (Basis Gear)
Surviving in the Wild: 19 Common Edible Plants (artofmanliness.com)
Eating Roadkill Rabbit Down by the River

Read More »

How I Got REAL ID With No Fixed Address

REAL ID proofs of residency fuck with nomads who don’t have no address living in a van down by the river. How’s an otherwise law-abiding van lifer to supposed to get a driver’s license, registration, license plates, and Obamacare? Cheat a little, that’s how – like the big dick corporations. Let me tell how Vanholio done his in New Mexico.

Two Quick Disclaimers First

Just Vanholio’s Experience

This article ain’t the end all, be all of how to choose a state of residency and get a driver’s license, etc. This is just Vanholio’s experience and thinkin’ on the matter. Bob Wells at CheapRVLiving.com has got the whole how-to for ya, soup to nuts. (See links to his articles and videos at bottom.)

'Technically' Ain't Got REAL ID – Yet

Got my license in New Mexico, and it turns out the state's on extension to being fully REAL ID compliant. Mostly they’re working out how to handle illegal aliens and other non-citizen residents. But I did jump through all the same REAL ID proof of residency and citizenship hoops to get my license, registration, and tags. My license just don’t got the star on it. What I did should work for you in any state.

Establishing New Mexico Residency

All the Docs I Needed

As New Mexico interprets REAL ID, here’s what they require for proof citizenship and New Mexico residency:

• Passport or birth certificate
• W-2, pay stub, or Social Security card with your Social Security Number
• Two different documents proving your address (see full list)

For my license, registration, plates, and title change, I also needed:

• Proof of New Mexico auto insurance (see requirements)
• Current van title

How I Produced the Proofs

As a US citizen and a decent record keeper, I have a passport, birth certificate, Social Security card, and my Texas van title. So that was covered. The tricky bit for nomads is getting the proofs of residency without a fixed address.

I decided the easiest of the required residency documents for me was a bank statement and auto insurance, especially since I needed the latter anyway. Here’s what I did.

1. Picked out a New Mexico residential address. (If you’ve got a friend or family member in your chosen state who will let you use their address, that’s the easiest and best way of all.)


2. Submitted a USPS request to forward my mail from the residential address to my private mailbox / mail forwarding service, Traveling Mailbox.


3. Got auto insurance for the residential address online and printed out the proof.


4. Changed my bank account address to the residence and printed out the next statement with New Mexico address. (I changed the address back later.)


5. Took the auto insurance and bank statement printouts, plus my other docs, to the MVD office and did the paperwork, paid the fees, and got my title, registration, plates, and temporary license.


6. About a month later, my permanent New Mexico driver’s license showed up in my Traveling Mailbox.

It’s some damn hoops to jump through, but it’s totally goddamn doable.

But Ain’t That Illegal?

Yes, but it ain’t immoral, IMHO. Being a nomadic vandweller ain’t illegal or wrong as such. The bureau-nazis and LEOs just have their systems set up in such a way as to criminalize not having a fixed address, a “domicile.” They wanna keep tabs on you. So I adapted to exercise my legal and moral right to live in a van down by the river. I look at it this way.

• REAL ID is a national standard to keep foreign terrorists from getting an ID that gets them on planes and into secure facilities. I’m a US citizen and not a terrorist.


• I’m as much a New Mexico resident as those fat cats incorporated in Delaware are Delawareans. Besides, I’ll be paying New Mexico taxes same as anyone and probably spending a good amount of time there, too.


• The Boy Scout way would be to challenge the current residency laws and regulations in court to win a non-address alternative to get licenses, Obamacare, and the rest. Work within the system, they say. Fuck that. I ain’t got the time, money, or belly fire for that shit.

Why I ‘Moved’ to New Mexico

New Mexico is an unusual choice of residency for a nomad. Most folks either stick to their home states or go with Nevada, Florida, Texas, or South Dakota. Here’s Vanholio’s considerations ...

New Mexico Has Expanded Medicaid

This here tale is mostly about Obamacare. As a self-employed, pre-retirement fellow, Vanholio gets his medical insurance through Obamacare. The problem is that for everything but emergencies, most policies (including mine) only cover you in your home state.

As an OTR vandweller, that sucks donkey balls, particularly since Vanholio is a Texas boy. The Lone Star State is huge, out of the way, and blazing hot most of the year. Not only that, Texas bowed out of Expanded Medicaid. Since I live on a tiny budget, that leaves me paying almost $3,000 a year for high-deductible, basic insurance.

So I looked at the map. Being that I mostly wander around Texas and the Four Corners states, New Mexico is about the center of my range. Good place to have my doctors. Plus, New Mexico has Expanded Medicaid, so that’ll be $3,000 a year raise for me.

New Mexico Taxes and Insurance Cheaper Overall

Now, unlike Texas, New Mexico has state income tax. That ain’t none too fucking attractive. But I crunched the numbers at SmartAsset, and as little as I earn, New Mexico’s income tax burden is peanuts on me.

Plus I done made it up in other ways. My van registration is about half in New Mexico as in Texas. Plus I ain’t gotta pay for yearly exhaust inspections. And by comparing average car insurance rates by ZIP code, I cut my rates in half! I come out ahead on this thing all around.

Also See …

• Choosing a State of Residence (CheapRVLiving.com)
  
• What Does a Nomad Use as Physical Residence Address (CheapRVLiving.com)
  
• Is Living in Your Van Illegal?
  
• Are You Homeless if You Live in Van?

Read More »

Eating Fried Crow in South Texas Swelter

Vanholio’s post two weeks ago crowed on about how I acclimatize myself to all kinds a weather. Well, now that crow is gettin’ fried up crispy in South Texas.

I didn’t lie, mind you. Vanholio’s been wearing shorts and sandals in all kinds of weather, from sub-zero blizzards to Southwest desert’s triple digits. Been comfy in the van at night, too. But then he came home to the South Texas Gulf Coast in August – triple digits AND shower-room humidity. The daytime heat index is about 125 F, and 97 F at night.

South Texas Is Killing Me

What the fuck was I thinking? This place ain’t fit for human habitation this time a year! I knew that. … But no, I had “bidness” to attend to and people to see. Never gonna time it for summer again, though, I tell you what.

After sweating in the van a couple nights, I asked around if anyone could put me and the dogs up. Nope. So I’ve been paying too much fucking money to stay at a Motel 6.

Goddamn, I fucking hate being here, visitin’ with the peeps aside. It’s too dang hot. I’m trapped inside all day away from steamy heat and traffic. I want to be back in cool mountains! It’s depressing as shit.

Leaving next week and starting north, north, NORTH! Thank you, Jeezus!

Cool Vandwelling in Hot, Humid Weather?

Now, could I have made this work without a motel or a room somewhere? Probably.

If I were at a campsite, I could sleep outside in the hammock all day and night. I got a bug net. Probably need a portable fan, too.

Or I could install a portable A/C in the van, which’d only be worth it were I living here for months instead of weeks. But it’s doable.

Or maybe I coulda even took up that Wif Hof Method shit. But Vanholio’s frankly too fucking lazy. I’d much rather be someplace cooler. Altitude and latitude: That’s the ticket.

Fuck this shit! And fuck Texas! There, I said it.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See …

• 20 Ways to Stay Cool Without Power (Urban Survival Site)
• Acclimatize for Comfort in All Weather
• Shit in Woods Goes Bad to Nightmare

Read More »

Acclimatize for Comfort in All Weather

"Ice Man" Wim Hof demonstrates human adaptability

Again and again, folks ask us, who live in a van down by the river: How do you deal with the heat? How do you handle the cold? HOW!? Simple: We acclimatize.

Human Body Is Adaptable

Now I ain’t denying the value for vandwellers of an A/C, fans, insulation, Little Buddy heaters, or the rest. There’s a place for all that shit, and maybe I’ll post about Vanholio’s weathertech in future. But for now I’m talking about how the human body adapts – when you let it.

See, we inherited us an amazing piece of biological machinery. Humans have lived in the Arctic without freezing and in Australia without catching fire. We’ve had pearl harvesters freedive their livings off Korea and settled Tibet at nosebleed altitudes. We’re a pretty damned adaptable species. And it ain’t all about throwing money, energy, and tech at the problem.

Vanholio Wears Shorts, Sandals at All Temps

This here last year, Vanholio’s been driving all over the country. I’ve been in the Rocky Mountain blizzards, Texas and the Southwest heat waves, and up and down from sea level to 10,000 feet.

Through it all, I’ve been wearing shorts and sandals. Seriously. Well, a light jacket and knit cap, too, when it’s below 40 F. Even when the van was 35 F inside on a winter morning, I’ve been toasty under a couple regular blankets, plus a hat and socks.

How could I do this? Hell, I don’t know. I just got used to it, I acclimatized.

Acclimatization Takes About Two Weeks

I started looking up online about human acclimatization. I read about how runners adapt to doing marathons in the heat, how climbers get used to high altitudes, and how soldiers handle extreme cold. Lots of good info with shit tons of detail. But it all comes down to letting yourself get used to it, usually for about two weeks.

A little lightheaded at altitude? Camp up high for about two weeks. Getting seriously cold? Spend about at least an hour outdoors while a bit underdressed for two weeks. Summer roasting you? Do some mild exercise outside for a bit every day for two weeks.

Let Yourself Adapt to the World

Sure, there are real fucking limits to the heat and cold a body can stand. I ain’t advocating goin' nekked all the time and sleeping atop a stone slab. Plus, it’s a fact that old folks have more trouble acclimatizing.

But we’re so goddamn used to living in 75 F houses, we’ve forgotten what we’re capable of. Vanlife comfort ain’t always about HVAC. Sometimes it’s just about letting ourselves acclimatize to the world as it is, outside four walls.

Hey, Beer Vanholio! He works hard on this blog.

Also See …

• How to Acclimate to Hot Weather (WikiHow)
• How to Not Get Cold Wearing a T Shirt in Winter (WikiHow)
• #ActOnClimate – Go #Green, Go #Vanlife

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