Last Update: 9/12/2017

21 Cheap and Cash-Free Food Sources

guy dumpster diving, but you can only see his legs sticking out of the dumpster
How can a vandweller stretch their food budget? By exploiting ALL the fuckin' resources in their damn environment, like a nomad. Here are 21 alternative food sources (in no particular order.)

1. Gleaning – Farmers will sometimes let you forage after the harvest for food left in the field.

2. Hunting/Fishing/Trapping
– Many states have free or cheap education programs to teach you how. Licenses are usually much goddamn cheaper for state residents.

?? #Vanlife question? Contact Vanholio! direct !!

3. Wild Foraging – Learn to gather wild plant and non-game animal foods. Check local laws. National forests rock for this! (See eattheweeds.com)

4. Urban Foraging – Produce from domesticated plants in yards are often let to rot, e.g., apples, mulberries, and pecans. This happens everywhere from the inner cities to abandoned farmlands. Don’t let that food rot like every other dipwad!

5. Roadkill – Gatherin' roadkill is legal in most states, and there’s lots of info online about how to do this smart'n safe. Vanholio's done eaten roadkill hisself!

6. Charity/Entitlements – If you’re truly hard up, try soup kitchens, food pantries, food stamps (EBT), even beggin'. Fuck pride!

7. Events – Some organizations, especially churches, will give you free food to hear their pitch. You don’t need to come to Jeezus after!

8. Gardening – Can you participate in a community garden? Do you have friends or relatives who’ll let you garden in their yard? Grow your own!

9. Guerrilla Gardening – Why not garden on a vacant lot? In that bit of grass behind a warehouse? On the sly, you can also care for already growing trees and plants, domesticated and wild, to produce a better harvest.

10. Intentional Communities – Many intentional communities farm. See if you can help with the harvest for room and board, and for some food to take with you. If you want to garden or farm yourself, this is a great way to learn. You might even make friends.

11. Dumpster Diving
– Business and households all over the country throw out megatons of food. It's fucking shameful. But their asswipery is your gold. Lots of info on the web.

12. Surplus Food – Ask restaurants, bakeries, donut shops, grocery stores, etc. for food they’re going to throw out. Get it before the dumpster does.

13. Party Leftovers – Don’t be shy about taking leftovers from parties and other events at work, friends’ houses, church, wherever.

14. Grocery Stores – Default option. Look for generics, sales, and clearances.

15. Big Box Stores – Stock up on bulk staples, if you have room to carry them.

16. Ethnic Grocers – Indian and East Asian grocery stores often have amazing deals and cheap, fresh vegetables.

17. Farmers’ Markets – These aren’t always cheaper, and sometimes the “local” produce is really off the wholesale truck. But it’s worth looking. Some states have programs for SNAP to get 2-for-1 on fresh produce at farmers' markets!

18. Farmer Direct
– Buy fresh eggs and produce from side of the road. Consider buying meat, even a whole animals direct; you can always dry excess meat into jerky over a campfire.

19. Samples
– Visit food stores on the days they have free samples, then fill up!

20. Scamming – Lots of info online about how to scam restaurants into giving you free meals. Just saying …

21. Mooching – You *can* always mooch meals off your friends and family. At least till they get tired of you.

How’s that for a goddamn list of alternative food sources?! Vanholio miss any?



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Last Update: 9/08/2017

Close That Vault Toilet Lid, Dammit!

typical forest service vault toilet
This is a Public Service Announcement: When you leave up seat in a vault toilet and open the door, you're doing the opposite of helpin'. Close them up! Here's why ...

?? #Vanlife question? Contact Vanholio! direct !!

See, your vault toilets – the kind ya find these days in U.S. Forest Service campgrounds, rec sites, etc. – is much more than your ol' stinky latrine. That's good to know, 'cause in van life, you're gonna be usin' these a bunch!

3 Ways Vault Toilets Stink Less


  1. The concrete vault (the shit pit) keeps out varmints. Plus bio-hazardous shit don't leach into the groundwater.
  2. The vent chimney uses passing breezes and the sun's heat ta vent the stink out up high'n away.
  3. The vault and chimney are screened off from flies (except for the shitter seat hole).


Now, all them three factors depend on you puttin' down the toilet seat when you're done. And closing the door helps too, plus keeps out the bigger varmints from makin' a mess in there.

If you even *think* that leavin' the seat up and openin' the door is gonna freshen things out, you're just plain wrong. You're invitin' more flies and suckin' that stink up into the throne room. Plus, you're an asshole.



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Last Update: 9/06/2017

Need 4WD for Van Life Backwoods Boondocking?

Old orange VW bus with huge suspension lift and offroad tires
Americans love big trucks and 4WD offroad rigs. But do you need all that shit just to camp off the dirt roads in public lands? Vanholio gives a qualified "no."

?? #Vanlife question? Contact Vanholio! direct !!

Regular Vehicles Handle Most Dirt, Gravel Roads


For the last couple years, I been goin' all over the national forests and BLM lands in a Promaster City, a mini-cargo-van with street tires, front-wheel drive, and only 5.1 inches a clearance. That's the same clearance as a fuckin' Prius!

I'd say that with that low-slung van a mine, I been able to get into 80% or more a the places I wanted to go. No problem. #vanlife

That said, I gotta be careful and pick my way. Dirt and gravel forest roads are smooth for the most part. But in some places, usually on steep parts where they get washed out, they ain't. You can drive 15 miles back in smoothness, then come to a rough patch. That's when ya put your tires atop the rocks and straddle the gullies.

Offroad Tires and True Spare Help Van Life Bunches


Vanholio's only been stuck three times, once each in snow, mud, and sand. That last was 'cause he was a fuckin' idiot. He also caused some under-damage the first year, but experience has tempered him a bit. Ain't been fuckin' that up lately.

No, biggest problem I faced was punctured tires. In the last two years, I gone through 6-7 tires that couldn't be fixed. Either the gash was too big to patch, or the puncture was in the sidewall. Rough rocks'll do that! Expensive and a pain in the ass!

The Promaster City come with a Slime and pump kit, but now I got me a true spare. And next month, I'm gettin' a lift and offroad tires. The lift ain't high, 1.25 inch (though every bit helps), but the offroad tires'll be a longterm savings – money and hassles.

Tire traction mats and a somethin' ta dig with is probably a smart idea, too. Don't know that a winch is all that. Maybe a tow rope or strap, though. (See video and links at bottom for more tips.)

Exceptions to This Backroad Van Life Advice?


Sure! If ya wanna get up that other 20% a roads, or even go offroad, you'd be better off with high clearance an' a 4WD or AWD.

That don't need to be fancy none, though. Some's out there got old Astro AWD Astro vans with lifts and good tires. Also look at the Subaru Outback with AWD and 8.7 inches clearance! Or maybe a Ford F150 with camper top. (Thanks ihatemybike and Al Christensen for the Astro and Outback recommends!)

And if you're gonna frequent areas with a lot a mud and/or snow and ice, yeah, 4WD and more clearance is best. Plus that winch!



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Last Update: 9/01/2017

Lady Luck Favored Vanholio! This Week!

Top of New Mexico Lottery MegaMillions ticket
Can’t believe my good fortune last Tuesday! Nothin’ like this ever happened to ol’ Vanholio before. It was if Loki hisself kissed my unworthy ass!

This is a tale of shipments misdirected and redeemed. An all too frequent hassle in van life.

?? #Vanlife question? Contact Vanholio! direct !!

Vanholio’s been tryin’ out Soylent again. Generally, they deliver via FedEx Ground, which presents some challenges to a nomadic vandweller. What I tried to do was have it sent to me ℅ the FedEx Ship Center in Las Cruces, N.M., where I had some biz this week.

About 1 p.m. Tuesday afternoon, FedEx showed the package as out for delivery on a truck from Santa Teresa, N.M., a suburb of El Paso, Texas. But I stopped by the FedEx Ship Center in Las Cruces anyway, hopin’ it was bangin’ around the warehouse somewhere, waitin’ to get signed in.

It wasn’t. Worse, turns out that the Ship Centers won’t accept a FedEx Ground package at all ‘cause they don’t have a way for recipients to sign for delivery. Shit. Woman there said I’d probably have to pick it up in Santa Teresa next day. Goddamit!

First off, I wanted to get the hell out of hellish hot Las Cruces and up to the cool mountains. Second, I didn’t wanna drive down to Santa Teresa next day. It ain’t far, but stayin’ overnight, then drivin’ there and back’d be just a waste a my fuckin’ time. Which Vanholio got lots of, true, but he still cares how he spends it.

I left the FedEx Ship Center and pulled into the TA Travel Stop around the corner to gas up, pee, and get a drink. Whole time, I was consternatin’ on where to spend the night, whether to just leave the Soylent an’ let it go back to the company, etc., etc.

But as I were pullin’ outta the TA Travel Stop, I saw a FedEx Ground delivery truck headin’ down Motel Blvd. "Vanholio," I says to myself, "Whattya wanna bet this truck came from the Ship Center or is headin’ there in a bit? Whattya wanna bet it’s got your Soylent on board?"

So I followed that delivery truck up to some government buildin’, where it pulled up to the dock. Parked and walked up to the dock, waitin’ outside till the driver come back out.

"Say," I said, "This is gonna sound weird, but see, I don’t suppose you have my package …" And I quickly told him the whole sorted tale.

And wouldn’t ya know it, he knew just the package! Handed it to me, and I signed for it right there! Then got the hell outta Dodge up to them mountains ASAP! Damn! Even a blind hog gets an acorn once in awhile!

Now, what’s all this got ta do with the MegaMillions ticket in the photo? Well, I felt so lucky after gettin’ my package that I bought a lottery ticket. And guess what? Vanholio didn’t win shit. ‘Cause there ain’t really no such thing as luck.
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