Last Update: 9/26/2017

#Vanlife – The Song

Two dirty hippies sitting in their fucking vw bus!
Just found this song, "#Vanlife" by Guilty Subconscious, posted in the Promaster Forum. Vanholio is speechless. Must watch!

?? #Vanlife question? Contact Vanholio! direct !!



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Last Update: 9/22/2017

Work Less and Save the World!

chimpanzee lounging on his back, his tongue stuck out

Today, I ain’t doing shit but sleepin' in my van and writing. It’s my solution to nearly everything – all the big problems. Why? ‘Cause busybodies fucked us up!

We need to go to a four-hour work day OR LESS. How would that help? Look at our fucking problems in this country and on this Earth …

?? #Vanlife question? Contact Vanholio! direct !!

Unemployment and underemployment? — Job sharing lets more people have jobs, good jobs, not bullshit jobs.

Poor physical and mental health? — Less work per person means more time to sleep, chill, enjoy hobbies, socialize, and build strong families.

Pollution and habitat loss? — Valuing leisure and others over money and things means each person will buy less shit. Everything you buy, even services, takes resources out of the Earth.

Political tyranny? — Folks with more time on their hands can organize to fuck The Man!

 Overworked moms? — Woman now get behind because they end up balancing jobs with family. With a four-hour workday, they’re not handicapped. And men can damned well do more at home!

The list goes on. I should start a global campaign for the four-hour workday!

But you see, Children, that would be counter-fucking-productive. I heard tell that the Japanese government put together a board in the ‘80s to get their people to use more leisure time. It worked 90+ hours a damned week to find a solution! … That might just be an urban legend, but it points out the problem of busybody solutions.

So I live in a van. My costs of living are tiny, so I don’t have to work all the damn time. This very day, I'm up on a mountain, waitin' for the rain to com in. Got no where to be, and nothin' pressin. So fuck it!

What Am I NOT Doing Today?


I’m not burnin' gas. I’m not using energy to heat or cool a house I don’t have. I’m not goin' out to eat or to the movies. I’m wearin' old clothes. I ain’t doing shit but sleepin', eating cheap, and writin' this post.

I’m a failure as an American consumer. But that means I am cuttin' down my carbon footprint and not sucking hard at Earth’s teat. Don’t even need to invade an oil-rich country today!

We could all live the life of fuckin' leisure if we just worked less.

And with all our automation, we should be able to work on average four hours a day (20 hours per week). Economists predicted it a century ago.

So what happened? Who stole the four-hour workday? Read this VICE article to find out. Then watch the video below about how exactly the four-hour workday is going to pull our collective asses out of the fire.



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Last Update: 9/19/2017

Bathing in Creeks, Rivers, and Lakes – #Vanlife Bonus!

Gunnison River Water Park, where Vanholio took a bath in the cold, cold Gunnison River — No SOAP!
Vanholio loves natural bathing in natural water. It’s free, for one thing. For another, it’s fun. It’s one a his favorite parts of the van nomad lifestyle – least in warmish weather.

Don’t matter to me none if the water is cold. Breath deep, relax, and you get used to it. Pumps up your metabolism, too, keepin’ warm!

?? #Vanlife question? Contact Vanholio! direct !!

Skip the Soap and Shampoo!


Not much advice on the subject, ‘cept don’t use soap and shampoo. Ya don’t need it, and it fucks up the water. Believe me, swim a bit, an’ you’ll come out fresh as rain. Even if that water looks a bit dirty.

(Vanholio’s momma always used ta make him shower after swimmin’ in the creek. Don’t know what that shit was all about. Think she was just a clean freak.)

What?, you say, But my soap is "biodegradable"! Yeah, well it’s a poison to water critters and plants until it does biodegrade. That shit just don’t belong there. Besides, humans lived millions a years without no soap. Fuck Johnson & Johnson!

Swimsuit or Nekkid Is Fine


Vanholio usually jumps in with swim trunks. But au naturale certainly adds a certain somethin’ ta the experience. ‘Specially if ya got that special someone (or someones) with ya. If ya wanna skinny dip and have a hippie orgie, Vanholio supports you 110%!

Worst case, some kids see ya nekkid. Good for them! Brats oughta learn that homely folks get sexy too! It’s their future. TV and movies lie!
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Last Update: 9/15/2017

Buying a Used Van When You Don't Know Shit 'Bout Cars

ink-drawing style photo of the back of a used van for sale
You're ready to launch into van life, but ya gotta go cheap and used. If ya ain't a mechanic, how you find a good deal on a reliable used van? Here's how!

?? #Vanlife question? Contact Vanholio! direct !!

Al Christensen at The Rolling Steel Tent wrote the best damn advice for regular folks buyin' used that Vanholio ever read! "Are You About to Buy a Gem or Junk?" You need to read it. I mean NEED.

He don't try to make you a mechanic. His approach is all about usin' your current knowledge as a driver, car owner, and human being. It's intuitive: If the seller, the situation, or the drive experience don't feel write, don't buy.

I'd also add that you should Google for the common problems of the particular model you're lookin' at. Owner forums are great. That'll help you with one or all of the followin':


  1. Keep an eye out for those particular problems when you look at the van.
  2. Make sure the mechanic looks for those particular problems.
  3. Add to the pros and cons on decidin' whether to buy.
  4. If you buy, help you notice the problems quick if they come up.


 Again, check out Al's article!

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