For van life digital nomads and rubbertramps, internet data speed is a problem. Either we’re budgeting data to save money or we’re dealin’ with a shitty slow connection. These five extensions will speed things up.
Vanholio uses all five extensions together, so he can vouch. But they got cousins in the Chrome Web Store that do about the same. I bet there’s similar for Firefox, Safari, and other browsers.
5 Data Saving Chrome Extensions
Adblock – Does just what it says. Supposedly the most popular Chrome extension of all time. It don’t block everythin’, but it blocks most.
Data Saver – This here Google-made extension shrunks, e.g., “optimizes,” the web pages you’re pullin’ on Google servers. Cuts Vanholio’s data 5-10 percent.
Disable HTML Autoplay – I fuckin’ hate it when videos just go off by themselves. This extension cuts that bullshit out.
Ghostery – Ton a sites these days shove extra trackin’ code down your throat. Helps them, not you. Kills privacy. This’ll stop ‘em.
Text Mode – This keeps all images and video from auto-loadin’, leavin’ a box where they was. If you wanna see the image after all, you can click on it to reveal.
All these five extensions have options to turn them off on pages you wanna fully load for one reason or other.
Simple enough damn question. For most, the answer is, I gots bills to pay. But what happens when you’re livin’ van life on the cheap and bills ain’t no issue no more? When you’re living in a van down by the river, what the fuck you gonna do with all that time?
What If You Didn’t Need to Work?
When your van life expenses are down to $500 to $600 a month and the credit monkey’s off your back, what next? That kinda money’s easy to come by. And if you got some passive income going, why it’s even easier. Thanks to luck and plannin’, that’s where Vanholio is now. Strange territory.
Let’s get more philosophical for a second. Let’s say the fuckin’ robots take most a our jobs in the next few decades. It’ll put a lot a people outta work. And this time it’s lookin’ like maybe new bullshit jobs won’t replace ‘em.
One thing bein’ discussed by big shots is givin’ every man, woman, and child a Basic Income. Free money to each’n’every citizen, just for bein’ alive! I shit you not! Think of it as a dividend on the GDP. Won’t be much, but it’ll keep ya fed. Common number thrown around is $10,000 a year per person. Bet lot’s more would take up van life then!
Aha! you say, People won’t work ‘lessen they have to! Folks’ll get lazy and sink into vice and depredation.
But will they? Do we work just ‘cause the creditor is at the door in wolf’s clothing, huffin’ and puffin’ and ready to blow the house down? And is work just the efforts that’s paid in the market? I ain’t so sure …
8 Reasons We’ll Work Despite Basic Income
Vanholio contends that we work for a whole lotta reasons besides keepin’ food on the table. There’s pleasure in work, paid or not. And if’n we had Basic Income or some kinda financial independence, we’d be doin’ work that gives us pleasure – like a pig diggin’ in shit. Don’t matter whether he’s hungry.
1. Boredom
OK, this don’t exactly sound like a pleasure, but hear me out. Thing is, people like to keep busy. We go plumb crazy if’n we ain’t got nothin’ ta do. So we’ll find somethin’ to do, trust me. Best if we keep busy doin' creative or useful things, though, rather’n sin.
In fact, keepin’ busy is good for our health. Retired folks know that. Thems that keeps busy have a good life. Thems that don’t complain all the time and die earlier.
2. Caring
Did your momma and daddy wipe your ass and teach ya manners ‘cause someone paid 'em? Hell no! In these days, it ain’t even like you was bred for extra farm hands. Nope, it was love, charity in the Christian sense.
The fact is, people need people, and that ain’t gonna change. We might build robots to do some a the domestic gruntwork for thems that need help, but the robots ain’t gonna love ‘em.
And there’s a lot a callin's that are about lovin’ one another: counselors, parents, teachers, preachers, animal rescuers, soldiers, massage therapists … Oh hell, you get the point.
3. Status
Better or worse, humans is hierarchical critters. We always work to better ourselves in the peckin’ order. So whether it’s for money or recognitions, we’re gonna work. Ain’t no one hardly’s gonna be happy bein’ another nobody.
4. Idealism
Saw a general testifyin’ before Congress about recruitin’ more hot IT guys to protect against hackers. Congressman asked the general, “How are we going to recruit more top IT professionals when they can make a lot more money in Silicon Valley?”
The general responded, “We’ll recruit those who are attracted by a sense of mission.”
Lotsa people take on work outta idealism more than a check. I mean, are soldiers really paid enough to risk a bullet? Hell no! Most take on the mission because they believe in American ideals.
5. Luxury
While a few are natural minimalists, most people like their toys. Basic Income ain’t gonna get you an ATV, Buddy! Most don’t think life’s worth livin’ if they can’t have a little somethin’ extra. That could be anythin’ from a chocolate bar to seein’ the goddamn Taj Majal! Whatever extra folks crave, they’ll work for it.
6. Play
Humans is creative. Whether we get paid or not, we’re gonna do what we’ve always done: art, music, storytellin’, sports, clothes, buildin’, workin’ on cars, cookin’, and a million other things. If anything’, people will do more when they’re free of bullshit jobs suckin’ their time up. We’ll all benefit, whether or not cash changes hands.
7. Curiosity
What drives scientists, engineers, and scholars of all stripes? It’s discovery, learnin’ something new. Hell, it’s what drives Vanholio to travel! I gotta see what’s in the next valley. Curiosity'll always drive people to make discoveries and solve problems. And problems that need solvin’ ain’t ever goin’ away neither.
8. Self-Betterment
Who’s 100 percent satisfied with themselves? A few potheads and retards maybe? Not many. People’ll keep busy with learnin’ new languages, new skills, gettin’ fit and strong, buildin’ better relationships, and a million other ways to become better people.
How Would You Keep Busy?
Are you financially independent? Workin’ to get that way? Retired? What do you do or plan to do to keep busy? Will you try to make money off your efforts or not? Comment below!
Stuck in the sand. 30 miles from town. Off road in the desert. Up a sand-dune ridge where tow trucks can’t and won’t go. How the hell was I gettin’ outta this one?
It was mid-afternoon on Day 3 of being stuck in the sand atop the high, sand-dune ridge of remote Kilbourne Hole. I’d given up diggin’ myself out andu decided it was high time to call AAA for a tow. So I did.
When the AAA agent looked at the GPS coordinates I gave him, he advised dumbass Vanholio, “Yeah, see, your roadside support is roadside. Umm, we can’t help you offroad.”
Called Tow Company No 1, the AAA contractor. They declined to come extract me from Kilbourne Hole. Said their equipment wouldn’t get up the ridge. Referred me to a company in Las Cruces.
Called Tow Company No. 2. Nope, they couldn’t do it. Even asked me, “How the hell did you even get a front wheel drive van up there!?” Good question.
Called Tow Company No. 3. Strike three. Not lookin' good. Not many options.
Good Lord Protects Idiots
Got a call back from the tow truck driver at Tow Company No. 3. As it turned out, his friend Mike was an offroad junky who was willin’ to come pull me out after work.
After a bit, Mike and I talked. His jeep and gear was up to the job. He knows Kilbourne Hole well. We agreed on a (hefty) price. He said he’d show up about 5:30 pm.
After 3 days of stuckage, Vanholio was gonna be free at last, free at last, Lord have moicy, free at last!
Around and Around and Around
Well, Mike wasn’t gonna get there till after 8 pm, turns out. Boss made him work late. No problem. This time a year, dark is dark at 5:30 or 8. I waited.
At about 8:30, Mike calls and asks if I can see his spotlight. But I can’t see shit. He says to watch out for him, he’s gonna drive around the road at the base of the ridge. I wait a long time. I can’t see shit. He can’t find me.
We agree that I’m gonna walk down to the county road and wait. So I do.
Walkin' Alone in the Desert at Night Is Plain Dumb
Vanholio takes off down the hill toward the road. Now, in the Chihuahuan desert at night, you can’t hardly tell a jeep trail from a bare patch, even with a flashlight. I couldn’t.
So I end up wandering around trying to find the road. It’s in the 30s. I’m underdressed. The flashlight battery is dying. I can’t get a phone signal in the flats.
Thank God I at least had the stars and the lights of El Paso to steer by!
After a good while, I found the road and waited. No Mike. I wait some more. The flashlight is dim. No Mike.
Finally recalling my Boy Scout trying and realizing I’ve put myself in a dangerous position. See, in a search, one person needs to hold still. That shoulda been me, seein' as I was the stuck one. Also, I was riskin' hypothermia had I got lost or injured out there.
I head back toward the van along the jeep trail (which I’ve found again). Once atop the ridge, I get a signal and Mike on the phone. He says he’s been drivin’ around the ridge, around and around, and hasn’t seen me or the van. Well, no shit.
What the fuck is going on? How can this be? It’s nearly 10 pm by this point.
Don’t Know My Asshole From Kilbourne Hole
Well, I get back to the van and have a think. Did I give Mike correct GPS coordinates? Did I send him off just far enough to miss me in the dark at night?
Then Vanholio has a brainstorm: Can he get the GPS coordinates of his new Jitterbug flip phone by calling the 5Star Urgent Response Center?
He calls. 5Star provides. He looks on the Google Map. The coordinates are way off from the ones he gave Mike. Really off. How can this be?
Turns out that Vanholio only thought he was at Kilbourne Hole. Turns out that he was actually at Hunt’s Hole, another crater about 2-3 miles south of Kilbourne. It’s shaped about the same, only smaller.
See, Vanholio had guestimated his GPS coordinates by looking at a Google Map. But where he guestimated he was located was on Kilbourne Hole. Which he wasn’t. Look at the photo, and you’ll see.
Rescue Mike Almost Bails on Vanholio
“You’re gonna kill me, Mike,” I said. “I gave you the wrong coordinates. I’m on that southeastern corner, but only on Hunt’s Hole.”
Pause. Silence.
“Is this a prank!?” said Mike.
“No. I don’t know what to say to convince you.”
“This is soundin’ kina prankish to me,” said Mike.
Well, it got fuckin’ ugly for a minute there.
Finally, Mike says, “Alright, I’ll drive down to Hunt’s Hole. Be there in 10 minutes. But if this is a prank, I’m gonna seriously hurt you.”
He was not joking. Trust me.
Rescue Arrives – Finally and for Reals
After 15-20 minutes, Mike found me. After me seeing his red tail lights from the distance. He almost gave up, but I waved him in with my flashlight. Phew.
We got to work.
He tried pullin’ me out with strap and chain. First time he got his own jeep stuck in the sand. Second time the strap broke ‘cause dumbass Vanholio had the van in park.
He went afront a me and pulled from there. Van kept getting stuck in the yucca of my brilliant bridge to freedom. Fuck.
But finally, finally, finally, after a few restuckin’ occurrences in the soft sand of that high ridge – at HUNT’S HOLE – we got back down to the road. I followed him into Las Cruces.
We got to Las Cruces T&A Travel Center about 1 am. After I got some ATM cash to pay Mike, he headed out.
And Vanholio headed into a much-appreciated, hot, long, $13 truck stop shower. Then to bed and dreams of better days, right there in the parking lot.
Moral: If you want to off road, get a 4WD. Dumbass.
