The Art of (Doing) Nothing

Somewhere long ago, our formerly hunter-gatherer ancestors got off track and fucked us up. They got busy and built "civilization," which shackles us today.

Stuff. It's all about the fuckin' stuff. We got the stuff, maintain the stuff, want the stuff, build the stuff, and hanker after the stuff – especially other people's stuff. It's a lotta fuckin' work, Man!

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But them that stayed hunter gatherers … they did a lotta nothin'. Sat on their asses most a the day, just talkin and fuckin'. The were the original affluent society. Sounds like Vanholio's kinda paradise!

I wanna get back some a that. That's why I vandwell. It's my dream to be lazy and contribute as much nothin' to this Earth-killin', human-crushin' society as I can.

Read this essay, "The Art of Nothing," by primitive skills teacher Thomas J. Elpel. He's addressin' primitive skills preppers, but there's a line a thought we can learn from.

Do' nothin' to save your money, save your life, and save your soul.

Also See ...

• "Work Less and Save the World!"
• "21 Cheap and Cash-Free Food Sources"
• "Are Hunter-Gatherers the Happiest Humans to Inhabit Earth?" (NPR)
• "The Art of Doing Nothing" (Zen Habits)

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Finding FREE Public Lands for Boondocking

One third of U.S. land is public land — BLM, US Forest Service, Army Corps of Engineers, and the rest. You can vanlife camp on most a it any time for FREE (exceptin' National Parks). But public lands don't always come with signs showin' where it's at. Hell, most of it ain't even on Google Maps! Here's three ways to find them sweet spots.

?? #Vanlife question? Contact Vanholio! direct !!

1. Gazetteers

In Vanholio's experience, gazetteers, a type of printed atlas map, are the best tool for van life. First off, they don't require internet, which can be short back in the boonies. Plus, they're well researched and drill down to small scale. I've used the Delorme gazetteers, but there's others out there.

2. Public Lands Interpretive Association Website

If I ain't got a gazetteer yet where I'm goin', backup is Publiclands.org, the website of the Public Lands Interpretive Association. Pretty good digital maps, but they only cover the Western states. And they're slow to load.

3. "US Public Lands" App

The app is available on Android and iTunes. Looks like it maps all the public lands. Ain't never used it, though, so Vanholio can't speak to it's quality. Look at the reviews. If you used it before in your van life, comment below.

Also See ...

• "Free 'Dispersed' Camping – Key to Cheap Vanlife"
  
• "Need 4WD for Van Life Backwoods Boondocking?"
  
• Public Lands Interpretive Association Website
  
• "Public Lands in Private Hands?" (New York Times)

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Eatin' Roadkill Rabbit – Yum, Yum!

You'll be eating plenty of roadkill rabbit when you’re living in a van down by the river. Vanholio knows: I am, I do.

OK, I’m a fuckin' liar. I’m actually camped by a small lake. And I just ate roadkill rabbit for the first time last night.* Better'n pussy! Tasted like turkey!

Here’s the thing: Vanholio needs to save dinero on dinners. And he wants to help out the earth. You know, that whole Global Warming thing. Foraging kills two birds with one stone.

Now, another vandweller might start by pussyfootin' around. Say, start by pickin' wild berries. But Vanholio always dives in dick first!

I been seeing lots of roadkill in Colorado this last week. So I looked up some basics on how to eat roadkill. There’s some laws to know about roadkill cuisine, too.

What I cook with these days

Then yesterday morning, picked up my first roadkill rabbit. He was barely stiff, a bit warm, had clear eyes and fleas, and looked to have been killed by a head injury. He weren’t pulped neither.

After butchering, I spiced and wrapped him in foil with potato and onion pieces. Then I baked him about three hours in my RoadPro Stove.** Perfection!

Las Chihuahuas – Ms. Barkley and The Gimp*** – loved that baked rabbit, too! Yum, yum, yum!

Oh, yeah. While the rabbit was cookin', I called the local Colorado game warden. Turns out I shoulda called him first to inspect the rabbit and issue me a tag. But the warden didn’t hassle me, decided I was working in good faith. Next time I’ll do it right.

I’m hoping to find a damn deer or elk soon. Then I’ll be making enough jerky to last months!

Eaten Roadkill Since That First Rabbit?

Nope. I tried once with a porcupine, but ruined the meat in the butcherin' process.

Turns out it's actually hard to find good roadkill. If the weather's gettin' warm, ya gotta find it early in the mornin'. And it's gotta be killt right, without the guts explodin'. And ya gotta be in the position to make use pretty damn quick.

I swear on a stack a Bibles, I run inta three good deer. But they was always at a time I couldn't pick 'em up for one reason or other.

I've concluded that with roadkill, like anythin' else, TANSTAAFL applies. For regular supply, ya gotta work a mornin' route, payin' especially close attention to where the game tends to cross. As a van life nomad who goes all over all the time, that ain't easy. Maybe work better if I settle in an area for a bit.

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* Actually, this Road Tale is from March 2016. Except that bottom section under the subhead.

** These days I'm usin' a Max Burton Digital Stove to Go.

*** The Gimp has since passed on. :-(

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Gettin' mail on the road? Traveling Mailbox! (review)

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Also See ...

• 21 Cheap and Cash-Free Food Sources
• TANSTAAFL (Literally!)
• West Virginia Roadkill Cook-Off (Facebook)
• Is It OK to Eat Roadkill? It's Now Legal in More States (Newsweek)

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#Vanlife Is Totally Boring!

Don't know what the hell you expected! Van life ain't nothin' but LIFE. Most a the time it's boring as hell. Or at least, it's as boring as you make it.

See, Vanholio's low key, just a quiet guy who likes his quiet. He ain't got no sexy yoga momma ridin' shotgun. He don't hang glide, rock climb, surf, cook gourmet camp meals, meet cool people, or discover amazing restaurants. Mostly, he just keeps ta hisself in the woods and desert, a hermit, if you will.

And that's just how Vanholio likes it!!!

?? #Vanlife question? Contact Vanholio! direct !!

Take Last Weekend …

Saturday — I got up late, ate some breakfast, cleaned up, journaled, called a buddy about some business we got, drove inta Silver City, N.M. for a Wendy's burger, dropped by Walmart ta take a shit and buy some coffee, came back ta camp, called another buddy, ate dinner, took Ms. Barkley on a walk, and otherwise wasted time Facebookin' and net surfin'.

Sunday — Got up, ate breakfast; cleaned up; drove into town ta get water, ice, and burritos at the grocery store; drove a big circle through Lordsburg, Hachita, and inta Columbus, N.M. (just for the hell of it, to see what's there, and I took a walk north a Lordsburg along the way); grabbed a site at the Pancho Villa State Park; cooked a one-pot rice dinner while surfin' the net; and took Ms. Barkley for a long walk round the park.

Excitin', huh!? Thrillin'!? Shit, coulda done mosta that crap livin' in a house or apartment somewheres.

So What's the Thrill a #Vanlife?

For Vanholio, it's campin' and walkin' in the quiet a the woods, livin' cheap so I don't have to work too hard none, and occasionally drivin' down a strange road ta see what's there (hopefully something beautiful or weird!). Oh, an' readin', writin', and web surfin'. That's all.

It's a simple life, but I likes it. Ta some, maybe it's boring. But then, it ain't boring if ya ain't bored.

And if ya wanna do hang glidin', rock climbin', surfin', and all the rest, ya can. Vanholio ain't stoppin' ya!

Also See ...

• "#Vanlife Still Good After Two Years?"
  
• "Work Less and Save the World!"
  
• "When Van Life Sucks" (Nomads With a Van)"
  
• #Vanlife, the Bohemian Social-Media Movement" (The New Yorker)

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